Man,
when they decided to make bad movies this year they went all the hell
out. Usually when I make my list at the end of the year there are a
lot of in the middle films that I give 5's and 6's to. Not in 2017.
Movies were either great like in my Best Of 2017 list or super stanky
like in this Worst Movies Of 2017. This was the year of making things
no one asked for. Here is my list of movies that I wasted my time on
the past year. I'll be making some sort of list of TV shows I watched
the past year.
So
many people enjoyed this movie but because I have a good memory and
connected all of the X-Men movies I could not. The history to this
series of films has been written over and over so many times that I
didn't know that while watching this I was supposed to forget that
the other shit doesn't even matter. I had no emotional attachment to
what happened to Wolverine or anyone else because I had to be
reminded that everything that happened in the past didn't mean
anything. I'm done with all the X-Men films. Watch Legion. That show
is amazing.
Talk
about a movie that didn't need to be made. I love looking at Scarlett
Johansson like a beautiful sky but she makes movies by herself that I
think are just ass. I know that she can act but if she is starring in
something chances are it will be terrible. This movie had so much
controversy attached to it because a White woman was playing an Asian
character which I didn't care about because that shit happens all of
the time. Folks just cherry pick when it annoys of offends them. I'm
just mad that this movie was so uninteresting compared to any of the
animes.
By far
one of the shittiest movies not just of the year but ever made. This
movie didn't need to be made. No one was clamoring for a King Arthur
movie starring a black hole of cinema. When I give a movie a 0 that
means that there is no redeemable quality about it. It wasn't cool,
interesting, funny, scary, or entertaining. It just happened. And
there is nothing worse in a movie than when it is done and it feels
like I decided to just sit somewhere and feel nothing.
This
movie is nothing but “Look at how cool this is.” No sense of
danger and a story that is not as interesting as it is pretending to
be. No sense of danger no matter how much head trauma Charlize Theron
suffers because she is telling the story safely from an interrogation
and the trailer shows the last mission of the movie because she did
something that looks cool. “But look. She has a lesbian
relationship for a moment. Isn't that hot...?” No. I don't care who
anyone fucks in film. It doesn't make it any better. This film was
worthless.
This
only gets a 2 because I still talk about it. In reality it is a -10
because it is one of the most angering films I have ever seen in my
life. I wanted everyone in the movie to just die in an explosion.
This is a film about a bunch of terrible people that suffer no
repercussions for their shitty decisions. The more praise I hear and
read heaped upon this pile of shit movie makes me wonder if people go
in already thinking that they are supposed to rate it more than it
really deserves and in some cases wonder if they actually saw the
movie.
A
joyless movie about a bunch of superheroes fighting against a villain
that if you asked comic book fan if they could make a list of the top
100 bad guys they want to see the Justice League fight would've have
come in at about number 500. This movie was doomed before filming
even began with directors leaving, rewrites, re-shoots, Superman
having to have his mustache CGI'd out, Batman looking like he didn't
want to be there, and effects that are worthy of a 90's WB series.
This movie was a total waste of the time of everyone involved and
those that watched.
A
hilarious comedy about satellites that control the weather because we
done fucked up the planet and one man's mission to fix it in
spaaaaaace. This movie was a hot ass mess and should have been made
in the early 2000's. Not sure why this was made which is a running
theme for the bad movies this year. It was like someone had money to
get rid of and wanted to make movies which is a bad combination.
Oh,
this movie managed to jump in at the end of the year and be
disappointing in every way. From story, the look, the acting, the
effects, and the directing. What made this extra disappointing was
that I could see how it could've been better by making it a series
and fleshing out the story and not cramming two thousand years worth
of story into a two hour movie. I would have given this a zero if I
hadn't laughed so many times at parts that I was not supposed to.
What
is the worst thing that you can do to a man that is a trained
assassin that loves to have the sex? Turn him into a woman! This
movie is something that you would laugh about with friends as an idea
but never be silly enough to actually execute it. The prosthetic nose
for Michelle Rodriguez was funny and the story is something that
would work in a segment of a larger movie. In film sex changes are
done in hours and there is zero recovery time. Like, you can just
kidnap someone and turn them into another gender like changing
clothes. This movie was hot garbage.
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