The Review: Marvel's What If...?

What If...? 8/10

Weeks ago the new Marvel series What If...? ended and I enjoyed it for the most part. My biggest complaint was that some of the episodes needed and/or deserved more time to flesh things out. Other were just fun to watch and I got just enough. I didn't think that I would enjoy the art style that much but after about two episodes I was fine with it. I liked that a lot of the original actors and actresses returned to do voices but there were some that were so awkward that it reminded me why there is a separate category for voice over work. Not everyone can do it. I have listed my favorite episodes in order and will write a bit about what I did and didn't like about each of them.

The Review: Fast Forward

Fast Forward ???/10

A fever dream wrapped in a musical. I watched this film called Fast Forward that my best friend has loved since I've known her and she would sing a song from it that I had never heard before. Over a month ago we finally sat down and watch this movie. It is about a group of singers and dancers known as The Adventurous Eight. There are six girls and two dudes. I think they are in high school but since it takes place in the 1980's they all look closer to 30 years old. They hear about an executive and want a dance contract but get there and the man has died. The new dude tells them to join a competition. Meanwhile they all move into this ratty ass apartment full of mold and sexual harassers at the entrance. They earn money by performing in the streets much to the chagrin of another dance troupe. One of the guys starts falling for a rich girl who already has a guy and his ass already has a girlfriend in the dance group. He trash. The other dude in the group gets mad that they are doing the same corny dances while other folk are pop locking an' shit. They rehearse and add more modern dances. This is one of them feel good movies from back in the day that come across as cheesy now but worth watching for some simple fun with catchy ass music.

John Scott Clough - Matt Sherman

Don Franklin - Michael Stafford

Tamara Mark - June Wolsky

Tracy Silver - Meryl Stanton

Cindy McGee - Francine Hackett

Gretchen Palmer - Valerie Thompson

Monique Cintron - Rita Diaz

Debra Varnado - Debbie Hughes

Noel Conlon - Mr. Stanton

Karen Kopins - Susan Granger

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The Review: The Long Halloween

The Long Halloween Parts 1 & 2 (9/10)

This was damn near a perfect animated set of movies. I didn't even know these existed until I saw them on HBO Max just sitting there. This was one of my favorite Batman comics and I was just hoping this would be an okay-ish series but it turned out to be my favorite Batman animated film since Sub Zero. I'm not gonna try to break down two films that have a lot of stuff happening and a dozen characters and every Batman villain. Basically someone is murdering mafia members every holiday through the year and no one knows who the hell it is. It is also the story of the downfall of Harvey Dent. I liked the voice acting in this. The story was great and followed the comic enough. The art was awesome. Really enjoyed this and will likely watch it multiple times.

Jensen Ackles as Bruce Wayne/Batman

Josh Duhamel as Harvey Dent/Two-Face

Billy Burke as Commissioner Gordon

Naya Rivera as Selina Kyle/Catwoman

Alastair Duncan as Alfred Pennyworth

Troy Baker as Joker 

David Dastmalchian as Julian Day/Calendar Man, Oswald Cobblepot/Penguin

Amy Landecker as Barbara Gordon, Carla Viti

Julie Nathanson as Gilda Dent

Gary LeRoi Gray as Officer Pearce

Fred Tatasciore as Solomon Grundy, Large Triad, Vincent Falcone

Jim Pirri as Sal Maroni

Titus Welliver as Carmine Falcone

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The Review: Free Guy

Free Guy 8/10

This was a fun ass movie! Free Guy is one of those kinds of movies that would is cool to watch as an adult but would have been one of the best movies ever if I saw this when I was a kid. It is about a guy named Guy that is an NPC in a video game. He lives his life the same way doing the same things at work every single day until one day he spots a lady singing a song and it throws everything off. One day during a robbery instead of laying down he fights back and gets sunglasses that allow him to see the actual video game world. He finds her and she tells him that he needs to level up. He does but not by robbing banks and hurting people but by doing good. He gets very popular and the game developers can't figure out what is going on. The lady he has fallen for, well, it turns out that she is a game developer and he is becoming sentient. She lets him know he is not real which is not cool at all. He gets over it and helps her out while his city is being destroyed and in the real world the servers are being hacked with an ax. This movie had cool action, effects, and music. It was just a straight up entertaining movie.

Ryan Reynolds as Guy

Jodie Comer as Millie Rusk/Molotovgir

Joe Keery as Walter "Keys" McKey

Lil Rel Howery as Buddy

Utkarsh Ambudkar as Mouser

Taika Waititi as Antwan Hovachelik

Britne Oldford as Barista

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The Review: Good Neighbours

Good Neighbours 5/10

This movie was weird as hell. Good Neighbours is about this strange ass cat loving woman named Louise living in Montreal at a diner. One of her coworkers gets raped and murdered as there is someone just running around comitting these crimes. A new guy moves in. He weird. Her neighbor is a dude in a wheelchair who lost the use of his legs after a car accident that also killed his wife. New neighbor likes her but wheelchair dude does too and I was like “Didn't your wife just die?” There is this other lady that lives in the building that is always yelling and hates the lady's cats so she poisons them. Louise decides to kill and rape the evil lady using the same manner which the real killer does as revenge using new neighbors sperm. She finds out that wheelchair dude can walk and is the real killer. They make plan to kill new neighbor because he knows too much. Cops get involved, killer goes after new neighbor, killer falls off balcony and dies, Louise gets to keep new cat from new neighbor. This movie was strange as fuck. I am pretty sure this was supposed to be a dark comedy but once she strangled that lady to death and stuck a dildo in her it lost all rights to be comedic.

Jay Baruchel as Victor

Scott Speedman as Spencer

Emily Hampshire as Louise

Anne-Marie Cadieux as Valérie

Diane D'Aquila as Miss Van Ilen

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The Review: Love And Monsters

Love And Monsters 7/10

This was a fun little movie. In Love And Monsters there was a meteor coming to Earth so everyone shot it with missiles and then it rained down all kinds of radiation that turned every insect and frog and whatever into giant creatures. This kid Joel gets split from his girlfriend and his parents end up getting killed. He stays in a bunker with a group fighting creatures. They do. He cooks and draws. He decides to go find his girl one day and travel 85 miles on foot fighting all kinds of crazy ass things. Along the way he finds a dog and comes across a man and a little girl that give him some training and tips on how to survive. He eventually is found by his girlfriend but she had already started seeing someone else (which would have been nice to know before he trekked across the most dangerous land!). A guy with a ship shows up with her group and says he has a way to safety on his yacht and it turns out he is using people as bait to make a giant crab drag the damn boat. This was on Hulu and a nice easy watch.

Dylan O'Brien as Joel Dawson

Jessica Henwick as Aimee

Michael Rooker as Clyde Dutton

Dan Ewing as Cap

Ariana Greenblatt as Minnow

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The Review: Across 110th Street

Across 110th Street 6/10

This was a crazy ass movie. I didn't even know it existed and thought it was just a cool song. This is about two dudes who rob the mob for $300,000 (it was a lot back in 1972) while dressed as cops. They shoot them all and end up shooting actual cops while escaping. The cops who are mostly racist as well as everyone else in this movie. There is one good dude who is a cop but he is surrounded by cops who don't like or trust him because he is Black. There was no one to really cheer for and almost everyone ended up dead by the end of this. One of the bad guys shoots so many people while running from the cops and ends up being taken out and just when all seems well a pimp with a sniper pistol takes out the captain and then the movie just ends. I was like “The hell?!” Good cheesy 70's flick L. and I caught on Pluto. Y'all sleeping on Pluto. That channel is amazing.

Anthony Quinn as Captain Mattelli

Yaphet Kotto as Lieutenant Pope

Anthony Franciosa as Nick D'Salvio

Paul Benjamin as Jim Harris

Ed Bernard as Joe Logart

Richard Ward as Doc Johnson

Antonio Fargas as Henry J. Jackson

Norma Donaldson as Gloria Roberts

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The Review: The Many Saints Of Newark

The Many Saints Of Newark 5/10

I checked out The Many Saints Of Newark and it was not what I was expecting. I thought I would be seeing what a young Tony was like and how he came to be and got the story of his uncle with a bit of Tony sprinkled in. Not enough to show me what made him the way he ended up being. I did not watch the last few seasons of the original Soprano's series but I know how it all ended so I wasn't super hype about this or anything. It was just fine to me. There is a whole side story that either did not need to be involved, be a whole other series, or actually delved into. The fact that they spent so much time on this other story felt very out of place. Also, Tony doesn't really become involved in the story until just over an hour in and less than an hour later the movie is over. I don't need to check this out again or anything. This movie was just fine.

Alessandro Nivola as Dickie Moltisanti

Leslie Odom Jr. as Harold McBrayer

Vera Farmiga as Livia Soprano

Jon Bernthal as Johnny Soprano

Corey Stoll as Junior Soprano

Ray Liotta as "Hollywood Dick" Moltisanti and Salvatore "Sally" Moltisanti

Michela De Rossi as Giuseppina Moltisanti

Michael Gandolfini as Tony Soprano

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The Review: Schmigadoon

Schmigadoon! 8/10

This was a damn good series. L. and I decided to check this out and also make fun of the fact that many of my musical references come from watching The Simpsons. Schmigadoon is about this couple named Melissa and Josh who are in a relationship that is kind of in neutral. They go to a retreat and while on a hike walk through some fog and end up in this weird ass town where they are greeted with with an entire ass musical performance. They discover that they can not leave this place until they find their true love and after trying to cross the bridge and being stuck they see that they aren't each others even though they think they are. This is a funny show with some really good musical numbers. I laughed out loud many times. This was on Apple so chances are a lot of people either didn't see it or likely don't know it exists.

Keegan-Michael Key as Josh Skinner

Cecily Strong as Melissa Gimble

Fred Armisen as Reverend Howard Layton

Dove Cameron as Betsy McDonough

Jaime Camil as Doc Jorge Lopez

Kristin Chenoweth as Mildred Layton

Alan Cumming as Mayor Aloysius Menlove

Ariana DeBose as Emma Tate

Ann Harada as Florence Menlove

Jane Krakowski as Countess Gabriele Von Blerkom

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The Review: Zola

Zola 6/10

This movie was fucking crazy. I had heard of the tweets that this movie Zola was based off of but never read them. I watched this and was shocked that what happened because if my ass was involved it never would have made it past five minutes. This is about this woman named Aziah “Zola” King that is a waitress that strips on the side. One day she meets this woman named Stefani that invites her on a road trip from Detroit to Florida to dance and get paid. This shit goes sideways real quick. The trip itself was too much for my old spirit. The music, the gum chewing, the weird ass boyfriend named Derrek, and X who turns out to be Stefani's pimp. Yeah. He threatens Zola and tries to whore her out but she ends up just teaching Stefani how to make more money for sex. There is a montage of some of the strangest looking mail genitalia. This movie was less than an hour and a half but felt longer. Not sure what could have been cut out considering it was so short but it felt like something was missing. It was based off tweets so how much more could I ask for? It was shot well and looked good but I wouldn't suggest rushing out to find this.

Taylour Paige as Aziah "Zola" King

Riley Keough as Stefani

Nicholas Braun as Derrek

Colman Domingo as Abegunde “X” Olawale

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The Review: La Brea

La Brea Season One Episode One 2/10

I knew from the trailer for this series that it would be bad but my stomach hurt and I needed something to watch so I decided to check this out on Hulu. I'll let you know now that I wont be finishing because its not good. Its maddening and funny but is supposed to be serious somehow. This is just me talking shit while I watched.

Oh god. All that damn traffic. I've been to the La Brea tar pits lots of times. It stinks but is cool. Like me.

Smart ass dude and a girl with a handicap and a tense mom. Okay.

The Review: Nine Perfect Strangers

Nine Perfect Strangers 10/10

Will have all kinda spoilers. This was a damned good show! I had no plans to check out Nine Perfect Strangers on Hulu. I had no idea what it was about and had no interest in finding out but L. and I watched this show every damn week just in shock and waiting for it every week. We got a late start and were able to check out the first few one after another and then had to sit and ponder what the hell was going on. When the show begins this author named Frances is upset about a relationship that went south (we find out why later) and that her latest book is not going to be published. Along the way she meets a man named Tony who tries to help her and they immediately don't get along.

The Review: Magic Mike XXL

Magic Mike XXL 9/10

This is not a movie you should watch as an out of shape male sitting next to your lady. A few weeks back I watched Magic Mike XXL and was so pleased that it had the same vibe of the first but eliminated that girl he had zero chemistry with and the young dude that wasn't interesting. This takes place three years after the last film where Mike had left the team and had been running his small business. He friends trick him into a reunion thinking his last boss, Dallas, has died. He ain't dead. They go on a road trip for one last hurrah stripping. They meet with Mike's old boss, Rome, who is pissed at him at first since he left her for Dallas. She makes him perform for the ladies at his place before deciding to help him out. Every dance sequence in this made my knees and back hurt just watching. This one was funnier than the first. And by funny I mean that uncomfortable laughter I make when I know I will never be the proud owner of an ab or be able to put my lady in a chair and flip her upside down simulating oral sex.

Channing Tatum as Michael “Magic Mike” Lane

Matt Bomer as Ken

Joe Manganiello as Big Dick Richie

Kevin Nash as Tarzan

Adam Rodríguez as Tito

Gabriel Iglesias as Tobias

Jada Pinkett Smith as Rome

Elizabeth Banks as Paris

Donald Glover as Andre

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