Sunday, May 10, 2015

The Review: Big Trouble In Little China

As absurd as the poster for the movie Big Trouble In Little China is, it doesn't lie. A lot of movies from the 80's will have crazy ass posters and b full of things that never even happen in the movie. Everything on this is in the movie. Swords, guns, wizards, a big ass truck. All of that is in this. I had not seen this movie in a while and forgot how insane it was and also how ineffective Jack Burton played by Kurt Russell was.

Burton is a trucker that ends up giving his friend a ride and gets caught up in the middle of a kung fu gang war in an alley. Then all of a sudden some guys come down from the sky shooting lightning and blades and start killing everyone. Then Lo Pan shows up and gets run over by the truck but lives and blinds Burton with lights from his mouth and eyes. This all happens!

At an airport a green eyed Asian chick is kidnapped. A reporter played by Kim Cattrall who has been hot for decades joins them because she thinks Lo Pan is just an old ass business man that never shows his face. Jack and his friend get taken while at a brothel and the movie just gets stranger from here. There are fur monsters, eyeball monsters, and more lightning fights.

This movie was made 30 years ago and directed by John Carpenter. The special effects manage to still look good all this time later. I remember seeing this when I was little and I wanted so bad to have the ability to shoot kung fu lightning from my hands. I also realized while watching this that Burton gets his ass kicked a lot and the guys whose names I don't know do the most damage to bad guys. During the biggest battle scene Burton knocks himself out.

This movie ends in a way that could possibly lead to a sequel but that never happened. I don't think I'd want it to at this point or even a remake. God, that would be depressing. If I wore tanktops outside of the house I would own a Jack Burton style tanktop but not those boots. Those are women boots. I don't care what anyone says.

Click here for previous The Review


Nathan said...

One of my favorite movies. I used to be able to say every line in the movie before the character did. Been awhile since I've watched it though.

Dante said...

You should check it out. It aged very well considering how long ago it came out.