The Review: Greenland 2 Migration

Greenland 2 Migration 0/10

Last year L was going through an apocalyptic phase and we watched some movies and TV shows. We watched the first Greenland movie (click here for that nonsense) and months later she found out that they had the nerve to make a sequel. The movie came and went (no one saw it in theaters) and then it popped up on streaming to ruin my day. This movie takes place five years after the last one (even though the son was 7 and is now 15). At the end of the first one they open the bunker doors and you hear birds and shit and its like “Ah, the storm has passed.” And by storm I mean a big ass comet that wiped out 75% of civilization. It would be so much easier to get to work...

The Review: Greenland

Greeenland 1/10

Gonna be a long one. This movie was dumb. My lady has been watching a lot of Naked & Afraid and apocalyptic movies so we watched this past weekend. This movie made me add the mother to a list of some of the worst mamas in film. Let me explain this because I am having a hard time staying on track with all the nonsense that was in this. This engineer named John pops over to his future ex wife, Allison's, house. She is working out and he startles her. We quickly learn that they have a son named Nathan that OF COURSE has fucking health issues. This has been a thing in movies for a while (to have a sick child) but now its done so that when people who have nothing to do with your personal issues gets killed its fine because its in the name of a sick child. He diabetic.