Insert Coin: Star Wars Rogue Squadron

“Unlike the Star Wars: X-Wing computer game series that emphasizes space combat simulation, Rogue Squadron is a fast-paced, arcade-style action game. Each of the game's sixteen levels introduces mission objectives that must be completed to progress to the next level. These objectives are divided into four categories: search and destroy, reconnaissance, rescue and protect. Enemy aircraft are primarily composed of TIE fighters. Ground defenses are more varied and include three different walkers, laser and missile turrets, tanks, probe droids, shuttles, stormtroopers and speeder bikes.”

Let me start by saying that I hate Star Wars. Hate it. Not a fan of George Lucas or anything. What I do like are the characters and the weapons. The story and all that shit? Not so much. In hindsight it would’ve helped if I did like and watch the movies if I knew that the Deathstar could be taken out with one shot. For real, it took me forever to beat that level because I was lighting that shit up and it would not die! Star Wars Rogue Squadron is a cool ass game whether or not you watch the movies or like them.

Insert Coin: The Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time

“The game opens as the fairy Navi awakens Link from a nightmare, in which Link witnesses a stormy night where a man in black armor on horseback chases after a girl on a white horse. Navi brings Link to the guardian of Link's village, the Great Deku Tree, who is cursed and near death. Link breaks the curse, but cannot stop the tree from withering. The Deku Tree tells Link a ‘wicked man of the desert’ has cursed him and seeks to conquer the land of Hyrule and that Link must stop him. Before dying, the Great Deku Tree gives Link the spiritual stone of the forest, the Kokiri's Emerald, and sends him to Hyrule Castle to speak with the ‘princess of destiny.’ As Link is leaving, his close friend Saria bids him good luck and gives him the Fairy Ocarina, a precursor to the Ocarina of Time.”

This was a very intense game. I sucked at it hard because it required too much thought and stuff. I’m not a thought kinda guy when it comes to games. So I had my ex say “Do this, this, and then that” and I would and kick ass. You had to get this giant guide book and also purchase an extension pack to make the game run smoothly. I also had to buy a Rumble Pack to feel the vibrations. Feel it, feel it! But sometimes I didn’t feel like saving everyone from the evil bastards around Hyrule. Sometimes I just felt like spending hours fishing. And I did!

Insert Coin: Goldeneye

“GoldenEye 007 is a first-person shooter video game developed by Rare and based on the 1995 James Bond film GoldenEye. It was published by Nintendo and was exclusively released for the Nintendo 64 video game console in August 1997. The game features a single player campaign in which players assume the role of British Secret Intelligence Service agent James Bond as he fights to prevent a criminal syndicate from using a satellite weapon to cause a global financial meltdown, and a split-screen multiplayer mode for up to four players.”

"Then maybe you shouldn't be heeeeeere!!!"

Dun-dun! Dun! Dun-dun! Dun! Dun-dun-dun-dun! As soon as I hear that I have flashbacks of playing Goldeneye on Nintendo 64 for hours at a time. I first saw it at a party with about ten people surrounding the screen and shouting at each other. Watching actually made me feel sick so I didn’t even want to play it. Then of course I got sucked into it and feel in love with it. You can play by yourself (which is only fun if you have cheat modes on) or against three other people. There’s nothing like chasing a bunch of people around a temple of laboratory and firing at them with an assault rifle and laughing like a jackass. This game is the party killer.