Insert Coin: Sunset Riders

The game, which is set in a fanciful version of the American Old West, revolves around four bounty hunters who are out to claim rewards given for eliminating the most wanted outlaws in the West. At the beginning of each stage the player is shown a wanted poster, showing the criminal, the reward for stopping them, and the line “Wanted dead or alive.”

One of the best arcade games when I was younger was Sunset Riders. There was the cool ass arcade version and the one for Super Nintendo. Its about four cowboys trying to clean up the Old West by shooting anything that doesn’t wear the vibrant colors that they do. Though there are four guys with such badass names like Steve, Billy, and Bob, there’s….wait. Bob? Really? Bob? “Oh, shit! Everybody run! Bob’s here! You know Bob don‘t play that shit! Steve‘s here, too?! Start prayin‘!” Anyhoot, the coolest one by far was the world’s most dangerous Mexican, Cormano. This mofo had two shotguns!

And wore pink because fuck hiding.

Though you could use two or four players I had more fun when I played along. Its like masturbating. More than one person and things get weird and complicated. The reason its harder with more people, the game not my penis, is that the bullets are the size of baseballs. When Cormano fires his double barrels the screen looks like a damned rave.

Insert Coin: Super Mario World

“After saving the Mushroom Kingdom, brothers Mario and Luigi agree to take a vacation to a place called Dinosaur Land, where there are many types of dinosaurs. However, while resting in the beach, Princess Toadstool disappears. When Mario and Luigi wake up they try to find her and, after hours of searching, come across a giant egg in the forest. It suddenly hatches and out of it comes a young dinosaur named Yoshi, who then tells them that his dinosaur friends have also been imprisoned in eggs by evil turtles. Mario and Luigi soon realize that it must be the evil King Koopa Bowser and his Koopalings.”

Next to Super Mario Bros. 3 this is my favorite Mario game. Super Mario World on the Super Nintendo was a great game. I think people forget about this one when talking about all the games not realizing that this is the game that introduced the character Yoshi. Oh, I liked him back when you just rode his goofy ass around and he didn’t learn to say his own name. Those were the good old days. He could eat enemies and spit fire. This game also had the best looking and craziest enemies. Like Bullet Bill. A big ass Bullet Bill!!!