Rapper Fat Joe was arrested for owing $700 grand to the IRS. A rapper not paying his taxes?! That’s impossible!
Charlie Sheen’s second ex-wife Brooke Mueller is out of rehab…for the 19th time.
Jessica Simpson is pregnant again! She just had a baby, like, a month ago right? And what becomes of her deal with Weight Watchers?! These are the types of questions that keep me awake at night.
Zooey Deschanel is officially divorced. So those of you that like fake nerdy chicks with creepy blue eyes can set your boners on the starting line.
Conrad Murray who helped kill Michael Jackson still wants out of jail. He’s been locked up for about 13 months and says that since he has a kid here in LA he isn’t a flight risk because we all know parents never abandon their children. That kinda thing hasn’t happened in hundreds of years!
One of the werewolves from Twilight was arrested for peeing in public at LAX but apparently he was arrested a week before that for cocaine and meth possession in West Hollywood. Even if I posted his name you still wouldn’t know who he is. Stay classy, kid.
Kate Upton has a boyfriend. NooooooooOOOOoooooOOOoooo...
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| ...ooOOOOOOooooooOOOooo!!! |
Miley Cyrus whose entire name is hated by my spell check posted a picture where she is grabbing a strippers ass. I used to feel bad for her fiancé Liam Hemsworth until he started getting into street fights. May her loins be as barren as the other side of my bed.
Christopher Chaney who posted those nude pictures of Scarlett Johansson, Mila Kunis, and Christina Aguilera has been sentenced to 10 years in prison…for being an amazing human being. I’m totally kidding. And completely not at the same time.
Is Jennifer Aniston pregnant?! I don’t care. But I do care that people use terms like “preggers” and “baby bump.” I seriously hate those words as much as I hate “hubby” and “wifey.”
Eddie Furlong from Terminator 2 and your local head shop was arrested once again for beating up his girlfriend. He’s also accused of exposing his 6 year old son to cocaine. He has a kid?! Seriously, dude?
Amongst the dozens of other reasons why Lindsay Lohan is in the news, this time its for clogging toilets on the set of Scary Movie 5. I didn’t know crack pipes could clog toilets. She is also too broke to see a psychiatrist. Fuck this girl.
Former comedian and now public nuisance Katt Williams says that he slapped that Target employee because he called him the N-word. You know, after all the random nonsense Williams has been doing lately, I don’t even sort of believe him.
The California Hamster Association is upset that Justin Bieber gave his hamster to a fan. There is nothing about that sentence that makes a lick of sense.
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