Ashton Kutcher has finally filed for divorce from Demi Moore. So soon? I think people forget that the reason they’re divorcing is because he banged some chicks in a Vegas hotel. He is currently dating Mila Kunis and Demi was last seen dancing badly with Lenny Kravitz.
Its being reported that Lindsay Lohan refused to kiss Charlie Sheen for a scene in the Scary Movie 5 series. Ew. If I were him I would’ve been like “Ditto!” Who knows where her mouth has been? The answer: Everyone.
Drew Barrymore had a kid?! When did that happen?! And she’s married?! I swear I almost dropped my monocle.
Madonna threatened to stop performing for fans at a sound check stating “You don't care about me? I don’t care about you. All right? Are we going to play that game? I'm not kidding. I can't sing if you smoke. Entiendes? You're looking right at me and smoking cigarettes, like I'm a stupid fucking idiot.” Moments later everyone including young children started lighting up anything that produced smoke. Remember when Madonna was hot? And interesting? And not creepy looking?
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| Aah! The Mayan's were right! |
Kristen Stewart says it was hard to stay indoors when news of her cheating on Robert Pattinson broke. Probably because everyone was out doing interviews to promote the latest Twilight while she wallowed in her whoredom!
So Katt Williams and Suge Knight were both ticketed in West Hollywood. That is a little too close for comfort. Katt for parking too close to a hydrant and Knight for being Suge Knight.
Kim Kardashian is worried that Instagram’s new policy will hurt her empire. One could only hope. You can only stare at this girls tits and ass so many times.
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| Wide as all outside. |
Some maroon that was trying to sue The Backstreet Boys and New Kids On the Block because he fell in a hole on their stage had his case dismissed. He was trying to sue the bands but the judge was like “They had nothing to do with it and how the fuck did you not see that giant hole?” Which, oddly enough, is what people say when they see Taylor Swift!
Megan Fox says that she felt like she was giving birth to a vampire. Makes sense. She is a witch. Yeah, she did it Munster’s style! Creature's birthing other creatures.
Askmen has voted Jennifer Lawrence the Most Desirable Woman. Uh…no. Not really. Guess I’m not a man. Stupid penis.
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