Nothing But Gossip May 24th 2013

The East coast's version of Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Bynes, has been busted for pot possession. Thank god that this scourge of society is off the streets! She was rolling a joint in the lobby of her building...again...when the cops were called. She answered when they knocked and then tried to chuck a bong out the window she had. What a maroon! She also allegedly meaning likely, shouted “Don't you know who I am?!” I wonder if that line ever works. Recently she wasn't allowed to get on a private plane and tried to use Google for an ID saying, wait for it, “I'm Amanda Bynes!” This girl is priceless. A national treasure even.

Eva Longoria graduated with a master's in Chicano studies. So have I. I've studied Sofia Vergara for years now. See what I did there?!

Halle Berry is walking around all pregnant and making my penis not hard.

Paris Hilton is putting out another album because the word does not have enough noise in it.

Former NFL player Chad Johnson was arrested for attacking his now ex-wife last year. Her name is Evelyn Lozada and I'll be damned if she is not the business! Hope he has fun staring at the tattoo of her face he has on his leg. Dumbass.

Damn, damn, damn!!!

Chris Brown was riding around with his fuck buddy Karrueche Tran when he rear ended another car. Not as exciting as you'd think for a story involving MC Womanpuncher.

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver are not calling it quits yet. Here is a recent photo of the lovely couple.

Justin Bieber is making people sign contracts to come to his house and party. I guess in case one of his monkeys that he doesn't give a fuck about gets loose and rips your face off. 

Kim Kardashian is still pregnant with Kanye West's baby and probably regretting the decision to let a goddamn idiot put a baby inside of her. Ladies, learn to respect your vagina’s.