Nothing But Gossip May 5th 2013

There is video from when Reese Witherspoon was arrested along with her husband for drunk driving and being a complete asshat. She sounds like such ass asshole in the video! You can tell she is someone who has never been on the wrong side of the law.

Chris Brown has pissed off his neighbors. This time its not for loud noises or parking wherever the hell he wants. Its for graffiti. He has spray painted huge murals on his place knowing good and damned well that you cant just do shit like that. Fucking hooligan. What’s next? Hitting women?!

Buckwild hot chick Salwa Amin is being released from jail so she can go to rehab…then back to jail.

Lil Wayne has been dropped by Mountain Dew for lyrics that used Emmett Till as an example of what he’d do to a woman’s vagina during sex. “Pop a lot of pain pills, ‘bout to put rims on my skateboard wheels, beat that pussy up like Emmett Till.“

Stay classy.

Fast History Lesson!

Emmett Till was a 14 year old kid accused of looking at a White girl back in 1955. He was beaten until you couldn’t point him out in a lineup if you tried, shot, and then had his body dumped in a river. Wayne could’ve used another metaphor.

Chris Kelly, one half of Kriss Kross, died after what appears to have been an overdose. His mother says that he took heroin and cocaine and was unresponsive. Way to be, kid. We’re the same age.

Teen Mom alumni Farrah Abraham is keeping the kill Dante’s penis train rolling. Between her terrible looking porno which I am compelled to watch and taking pole dancing lessons, my junk may be broken for life.

Did you hear that? It was the sound of my penis retracting painfully fast.

Justin Bieber was snatched by a crazy fan onstage. Shockingly it was not a little girl who doesn’t realize that his music is terrible. It was some dude who grabbed him from behind (insert obvious joke here). Security made it worse by twirling the two to the ground. Piano crashed to the ground, but the song just kept on playing because fuck playing live.

Lindsay Lohan recently did an interview where she says that she got advice on how to stop drinking from Heath Ledger. Yeah, the dead guy. She says she can give up drinking, thinks she should not be in lockdown rehab, and is straight. So it appears that stupidface Lohan lives in Bizarro World! She is now at Betty Ford because the first place lost its license two years ago after some 20 year old guy died while doing pushups. He was there for an eating disorder.

Antoine Dodson of Bedroom Intruder fame says he is no longer gay. Yeah.

Sure he's not.