Jurassic
World 3/10
Spoilers!
“These people. They never learn.” I feel the same way Black guy
in the movie! Jurassic World is just like the previous Jurassic Park
movies in that there is one person you should be listening to and no
one does so people have to die. This is the story of cell phones
never working when you need them to the most. And stupid humans. And
annoying kids. Oh, and a dinosaur that is all about killing other
things that breathe.
I wanted the evil super dinosaur to win the
entire film. I shouldn't have felt that way. I shouldn't have had to
stifle so many yawns either. There should have been people I wanted
to survive and win but the only one that I felt this way for was Star
Lord aka Chris Pratt as Owen Grady because he's the best thing about
this movie, the dreamy bastard.
Bryce
Dallas Howard plays Claire Dearing. She is the park manager and is in
charge, needs no man telling her what to do, kids, or anything. She's
also dumb as hell and willing to put everyone in danger to keep the
park open. She's also a huge fan of using her cell when doing 100
through the jungle. Vincent D'Onofrio is in this playing a guy dying
to kill some shit in a role that could've been played by a dozen
other actors who are known for playing this role. It was a waste of
his talent.
Then
there are the two kids in this. The young one that is a smart pussy
and the teenager that is such a douche. He can't be bothered to care
about anything but the girls he sees and looking as unaffected by
everything. I wanted both of them gone for different reasons.
When
the dinosaurs all start getting loose I didn't even care. I thought
it was good. But I never felt like anyone in the main story were in
danger. Why? Because everything looked like a really good video game.
These dinosaurs didn't have any weight to them, if that makes any
sense. They didn't look real so it didn't feel real. Plus when there
are so many on screen it just becomes a blur of things flying around
the screen eating folks. And an ending I saw coming from a hundred
miles away where they try to toss in as many jump scares as possible.
What's
odd is that I'm gonna forget about this movie. There was nothing in
it that made me cheer or feel anything but annoyance at everyone in
it. This movie wasn't fun. It wasn't cool. It wasn't interesting. It
just was. It was a very expensive thing happening on screen that I
wasted time seeing. Anyone that went to the park needed something bad
to happen to them. Bunch of idiots. Mother sent her annoying ass kids
to visit an aunt they haven't seen in seven goddamn years at the most
dangerous place on the planet. A movie about all the lawsuits
would've been more fun. Should've just stayed home and watched
Guardians of the Galaxy for the 19th time.
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