The Review: The Mighty Quinn

The Mighty Quinn 3/10

This movie didn't make a lick of sense. L. had me watch The Mighty Quinn last weekend and all I knew was that Denzel had a Jamaican accent. And by an accent I mean his sounds worse than mine. It just comes and goes throughout the movie. He plays a chief of police named Xavier Quinn. No one listens to or respects him. He shows up and stops a stabbing at a wedding and gives the guy his knife back. There has been a murder and they are trying to pin it on his childhood friend, Maubee. Oh, Maubee. The clothes. The hair! Oh, my god, the hair.

Dante Watches Chopper Chicks In Zombietown

Chopper Chicks In Zombietown 4/10

These biker ladies calling themselves Cycle Sluts roll into a town that don't want them to face off against some zombies that have broken free. The only thing that stands between this town being destroyed are some biker ladies, a bus full of blind kids, and a little person. I'm not making any of this up.

Jamie Rose as Dede

Catherine Carlen as Rox

Lycia Naff as T. C.

Vicki Frederick as Jewel

Kristina Loggia as Jojo

Gretchen Palmer as Rusty

Martha Quinn as Mae Clutter

Don Calfa as Ralph Willum

Billy Bob Thornton as Donny

Hal Sparks as Lance

Click here for previous Dante Watches. 

The Review: No Holds Barred

 

No Holds Barred RIP 'EM/10

Good lord. I have not seen this movie since it first came out. This was I believe the third movie I ever saw in a theater when I was 10 years old. After watching this again I can not believe how cool I thought this was or why I thought that Zeus was someone I should model my behavior afterward by wrapping foil around my wrists and clanging people on their shoulders. Can that even kill or cripple someone? I think it would hurt quite a bit. Anyhoot, our hero/psychopath is Rip Thomas. He rips 'em! He wrestles and this evil dude named Brell wants to buy him and have him fight for his...company? I'm not sure exactly. But he wants Rip badly.

The Review: Road House

Road House 8/10

If I had seen Road House as a child chances are I would have tried to get into shape. The problem is that movies I grew up watching had buff ass dudes but they didn't get the girl. They just beat folks up. Not in this movie though. He gets the girl and even a car that blinks. I am getting way too ahead of myself. Robes settled on this for our viewing pleasure. I also dare you to make me put a spoiler warning for a movie that is damn near 30 years old! Go ahead. You know what I used to do to guys like you in prison?