You Had One Job: Tom Hardy As Venom

Yesterday I heard that there was a Venom movie being made. My reaction was “Why?” Its not that I don't like Venom. He was cool when I was in junior high but its been years since I gave a damn about the character in any way. For those that don't know who he is I'll give a silly quick overview. Venom is an alien known as a Symbiote that attached to Spider-Man and once Spider-Man realized what it was he got rid of it and Eddie Brock, who worked with Peter Parker and hated him, bonded with it and became Venom. I wondered how this was going to tie into the new Spider-Man movies done by Marvel but worried because they were jumping the gun. I'll get into that later.

Then I heard that Tom Hardy, who is bae number three, was going to play him and I literally shook my head. He was supposed to be in that Suicide Squad movie but left thankfully and I was wondering when he would hop into one of these Marvel movies. I just didn't think it would be as Venom and I sure as hell didn't think it would be in Sony's grubby ass hands. See, the problem is that Sony finally released Spider-Man over to Marvel Studios which is why he was in that last Captain America Civil War movie played by Tom Holland. In the small amount of time he was on screen he was the best Spider-Man in film (click here where I rank them). These films will not be connected so...its just a Venom film? I'll pass.

Who Is The Best Spiderman?

On paper Spiderman seems like he'd be one of the easiest comic book characters to make a film of. A high school student bitten by a radioactive spider gets super powers and uses the to fight crime after the death of his Uncle Ben while keeping it secret from his Aunt May. To me the most difficult part would be the actual look of them swinging on a web through the city special effects wise. And I am not including the mad for TV version from 1977 where he had salad strainers over his eyes sometimes and mirrors others then shot two inch thick ropes at folks.

The third film version of Spiderman recently appeared in the new Captain America: Civil War film which means that I can now judge which of the three is the best one. I am going to start a new system introducing a Defining Moment for the character in the movie that either made or broke them.