Tuesday, May 23, 2017

You Had One Job: Tom Hardy As Venom

Yesterday I heard that there was a Venom movie being made. My reaction was “Why?” Its not that I don't like Venom. He was cool when I was in junior high but its been years since I gave a damn about the character in any way. For those that don't know who he is I'll give a silly quick overview. Venom is an alien known as a Symbiote that attached to Spider-Man and once Spider-Man realized what it was he got rid of it and Eddie Brock, who worked with Peter Parker and hated him, bonded with it and became Venom. I wondered how this was going to tie into the new Spider-Man movies done by Marvel but worried because they were jumping the gun. I'll get into that later.

Then I heard that Tom Hardy, who is bae number three, was going to play him and I literally shook my head. He was supposed to be in that Suicide Squad movie but left thankfully and I was wondering when he would hop into one of these Marvel movies. I just didn't think it would be as Venom and I sure as hell didn't think it would be in Sony's grubby ass hands. See, the problem is that Sony finally released Spider-Man over to Marvel Studios which is why he was in that last Captain America Civil War movie played by Tom Holland. In the small amount of time he was on screen he was the best Spider-Man in film (click here where I rank them). These films will not be connected so...its just a Venom film? I'll pass.

Venom has been in film before. He was played by Topher Grace in Spider-Man 3 which people shit on. I didn't hate it but it was crammed into a movie with too many villains already. 

If you wanna see a good Venom short film its called Truth In Journalism and was done by Adi Shankar. I would say watch it on Youtube but those assholes have removed all of the sound. Its about 17 minutes long and is pretty damned amazing. Not sure if I'd watch an entire movie of Venom that was not done by Shankar. It focuses more on the type of guy Eddie Brock is than the “Holy shit, its Venom! The CGI looks great!” because that's all people really care about at the end of the day. Making a Venom movie with no Spider-Man is like making a Catwoman movie with no Batman. No one would ever be stupid enough to try that though.

What I mentioned earlier with jumping the gun in regards to Spider-Man what I mean is that they are presumptuous in thinking the movies will be good. The next film, Spider-Man Homecoming, is the third reboots in 15 years. They have the three Spider-Man movies with Tobey Maguire which I liked. Loved the second one. Then they scrapped all of that and made the two with Andrew Garfield which were terrible ass garbage. In the Maguire ones the director was being told to just keep adding villains so the first movie had the Green Goblin which was fine. Then the second one had Doctor Octopus and that worked. But people still wanted Venom. They got him and then cried because they also got Sandman and another Green Goblin. The next series with Garfield had The Lizard which no one gave a fuck about (and sucks because the guy that should have become him was in the previous three films) and in the second Electro for no damned reason. They scrapped the teased Sinister Six movies because they can't even get past three in these series. Homecoming will have Shocker and Vulture and that makes me nervous but at least it looks good.

Why cant Sony just play nice and let Marvel have Venom for future use? Not anytime soon though because no one is clambering for a Venom movie even if it is starring Hardy. And there have been so many versions of him now that people who like the character now won't even know who the fuck Eddie Brock even is. If you are gonna use Hardy use him for something new. Make a Moon Knight movie or something.

Click here for previous You Had One Job.

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