Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Theater Whore: Terminator Genisys


Terminator Genisys 1/10

Normally when I wrote a review I will say spoilers ahead but if you've seen the poster or trailer for this movie then its already had a major part of the story spoiled. I actually wonder what this would've been like if it hadn't. When that particular scene happened it would have been far more surprising and I would have given this a 2 instead of a 1. And that 1 is because I smiled whenever Pops aka T-800 aka Arnold Schwarzenegger smiled. I will try to explain what the hell this garbage ass movie was about even though Terminator Genisys couldn't. 


The future is fucked as usual because nothing anyone does changes that. Someone who is never named sent Pops back in time to protect Sarah Connor as a child because I guess she is too tough when she is a teenager or adult for Skynet to take out. Kyle Reese goes back to meet with her and another liquid metal robot is sent as well as they try to reenact the first Terminator movie. So now we have the first Terminator Pops killed and this metal one gunning for Sarah. Oh, and Reese is a terrible everything. He's dumb, doesn't listen, gets his ass kicked all the time, and reacts too quickly. And he's played by Jai Courtney to make sure that this movie tanked.


I forgot to mention that Dr. Who infected John Connor in the future right when Reese was being sent into the past because he has some new special power that Skynet has created. Now nothing that ever happened in the other films matter. This is brand new now. And total shit. Reese's memories are all mixed up, John comes back from the future and he is infected with Skynet which for some reason is called Genisys. And what is Genisys? A goddamn app! That's what it is! The world will be destroyed by an app! Fuck this plot!

I knew this wouldn't be good but I really didn't expect it to be as bad as it was. I feel bad for anyone that has a real love of the franchise because it is now wrecked. I'm sure some could say the same when a bad Batman movie comes out but its such a part of our culture that its hard to make irreparable. This was Arnold's last shot at making a good Terminator film and he got dragged into utter bullshit. This was an expensive version of a fan film and what happens when you let kids pretend they're adults. 

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