The Review: Three Bad Christmas Movies

For the last few years me and Cam have watched some bad Christmas movies. A couple nights ago she called me about some that were on Hoopla. Mind you, we fast forwarded through a lot of these but still managed to follow the plots. The main thing these films had in common were almost no relation to Christmas, bad lighting, sound, and clothing. After talking to L. about these I decided that I would not be giving these a rating...but if I did they would all be 0's. Enjoy!

A Lot Like Christmas

“After not seeing his family for over seven years, P.J. gets talked into going home for Christmas by his co-workers. Excited to see PJ, the entire family comes home for the Christmas season; his family is loaded with personality and has a flair for the dramatic. He reconnects with his high school sweetheart, Rebecca, and after having a fight with his father, is reminded of the importance of love and forgiveness. Only then does his perspective change and he embraces second chances at life.”

This this dudes father leaves when he was little. He is a grown up now and the plot says he hasn't seen his family for seven years. I assume he has not talked to them either because he is real mad when he goes to see them and his father is back. He can't get over it, he treats his lady like trash only for him to take her back, and tries to get with an old crush. He also played multiple roles in this and none of them were funny. Bad lighting. Terrible sound. His hair would grow and get cut in between scenes. Like obviously haircuts. His friend was a terrible friend too. This was bad but it got worse.

Christmas On My Block

“When two men from very different walks of life meet over the holidays, they change each other's lives forever.”

This movie starts with a woman dropping a baby off at the door and him answering with a gun. We see him as an adult drug dealer who gets caught during a drug deal. He is out and working as a janitor at a music studio. One night he is caught rapping. They like his music. Its really bad music. His drug dealer boss shows up wanting him to pay him back for being arrested and not making money. It turns out his boss at the studio is his younger brother. Neither of them knew. Dude goes to rob a truck that is helping the poor and studio brother shows up and pays off his debt with a check. Yes. A drug dealer took a fucking check. The end.

Reindeer Games

“With his promising and rising career in radio and the love of his life by his side, Rayne Wilkins feels that he is ready to conquer the world.”

This dude named Rayne works at a radio station. They show this only at the start. He proposes to his lady and she says no. He gets drunk and his friends try to console him especially his lady friend. I predicted they would end up together. Rayne goes on multiple dates and finally meets a match but it turns out that his friend paid her to date him. His friend also fucked his lady. His friend that is a woman lets him know she has liked him since the 2nd goddamn grade. What?! They smooch. Its weird. Flash forward to him looking exactly the same and they have a, like, 13 year old son and he was telling him this story. His now wife is finally relieved of the terrible wig they had her wearing and they plan to have a second baby. The end. Ugh.

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