The Review: Why Did I Get Married

Why Did I Get Married 5/10

Once again L. made me watch a Black film that my ass has never seen but heard of. In case you all are wondering if you click on Black Movies 101. This movie was another example of a group of friends being friends for years but acting like and doing shit only my worst of enemies would do. I let L. know that in almost every Black film we have watched this seems to be a running theme and its weird. This movie is about four couples that meet up every year at a retreat and talk and work on their marriages. Or according to this particular season meet up and reveal all their secrets and fight the whole time. Like, the whole ass time. Things are weird between everyone before they even leave. Let me give some examples and spoil the whole movie at the same time.

One couple is Leal and Terry. She is a lawyer of some sort and constantly working and on the phone. She has forgotten to get their daughter from school she is so busy and doesn't want another kid and doesn't bone down with her husband. Terry is a pediatrician and wants another kid and pretty much thinks his wife is a bad mother and partner. It is revealed that she had her tubes tied and didn't let him know. She finds out he took a DNA test after their daughter was born because he is from the 1600's and doesn't think you can get someone pregnant from having sex one time. This man is a doctor.

Another couple is Angela and Marcus. She owns a hair salon and loves to drink and start shit. Marcus is a former football player who works for her. He has one kid with Angela and another with a previous woman and they do not get along. Marcus cheats on Angela and now his dick is on fire and asks Terry for some medicine and he obliges. No! Let it burn! Anyhoot, he is told not to sleep with his wife until the pills arrive and work so he dodges sex with her. She later finds out that he cheated but laughs because she also cheated and is the one that gave him booty cooties and has been waiting for him to say something. He tries to choke her.

Patricia is the one that organizes this and is a psychologist. Her husband Gavin is an architect. Either way they rich as fuck. They are the least interesting couple and there ain't even a photo of them for this movie so I am using an image of Patricia's actress from when I thought she looked the best. Deal with it. It is revealed that Gavin blames Patricia for the death of their son who died in a car accident. He was a bad choice for her husband. Nothing else really to say. Its weird because they should have been the most dynamic but absolutely weren't. Oh, and she wrote the book the name of this film comes from.

I saved this couple for last because I have the most to say about them. Sheila is a housewife and Mike is an entrepreneur (whatever the hell that means). This man treats his wife like garbage and its harder to accept when you know and see who his wife is. So they are on the plane heading to the retreat and this man acts all grumpy and they tell her that due to her size she has to get off the plane. She gets kicked off and her husband laughs about it and keeps shitting on her about her weight. Oh, and they brought a lady friend Trina with them and her punk ass stays on the plane with Sheila's husband! They are obviously fucking one another right in Sheila's face. Sheila ends up renting a car and driving to the retreat which is across states all by herself. Mike and Trina arrive all cozy and Sheila eventually arrives. Mike shits on her every chance he gets about her weight. Eventually when it is revealed that she was being cheated on she busts a bottle on Mike's head. I cheered. Mike says he is leaving and takes all of Sheila's money and ends up with Trina but wants her back after seeing how much weight Sheila loses later. Bitch, that woman can weigh one hundred more pounds and still be wanted! Oh, she ends up hooking up with this police man that works in the town the retreat is in and they fall in love and get married. They both like god a lot. It works out.

This was not a terrible movie despite how I am making it sound. Its just crazy to me that these people have been friends for years and keep really hurtful secrets from each other, rarely if ever speak up for one another, or flat out let you look like an idiot. Like, when Sheila stayed in that small town she got a whole new man, job, and married and her friends didn't know. Some friends using STD's as a weapon. Its fucking wild. L. tried to get me to watch the sequel immediately afterward and I couldn't do that to myself.

Tyler Perry as Dr. Terry Brock

Sharon Leal as Dianne Brock

Malik Yoba as Gavin Agnew

Janet Jackson as Dr. Patricia Agnew

Michael Jai White as Marcus Williams

Tasha Smith as Angela Williams

Richard T. Jones as Mike

Jill Scott as Sheila

Lamman Rucker as Troy Jackson

Denise Boutte as Trina

Keesha Sharp as Pam

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