Theater Whore: Logan

Logan 3/10

There will definitely be some spoilers. I finally watched the latest Wolverine/X-Men movie Logan. I was shocked by how much I was not impressed with it considering so many reviews I watched slobbered all over its knob. It was just fine. Not impressive, fun, exciting, or anything special. It was just fine to me. I think I would have enjoyed this more if I didn't have almost two decades of shitty X-Men films in my head because even though they “rebooted” them they continued to drag the same dog shit on their shoes throughout the entire series.

Theater Whore: The Wolverine

Before I start this will be full of spoilers. I was not a fan of the first Wolverine movie seeing as how Liev Schreiber seemed to be the only one that decided to take the script seriously. The rest of the film was a bloodless confusing film. My biggest problem is letting go of comic book shit and just watching a movie which is why I love when things have no history to them. I cant sit there and go “That is so not how that is supposed to happen!” 

With Wolverine you are dealing with a character that has decades worth of history in comics and has been alive for a few hundred years. Then you have the movie version (he has appeared in six films now) where they seem to mix things up even further. Okay, I am jumping ahead of myself. The Wolverine is a series of action scenes with a plot that if you kept thinking about it would make your face explode which would be okay with him because he can heal. Sometimes. Then fine others. Then not so much the next. Oh, fuck it. 

Theater Whore: Les Miserables

I have officially watched every single movie that was nominated for best picture at the 2013 Academy Awards! If you wanna hear me and Cam talk about the awards before they started click here for our Rockets & Chicken blog. You didn’t know we had another blog? Well, we do, Mary. So check it out. I saw Les Miserables and my god does this movie live up to the title! It should’ve been called We All Die To Music.

This movie is sadness o’plenty! It starts off with Wolverine being held prisoner with hundreds of other guys pulling boat parts ashore while Gladiator berates him. Wolverine thinks he is free until he is informed that he must stay longer and he’s  like “Fuck that noise!” and escapes. He lives on the streets and gets his ass beat by life until after stealing from a church he is forgiven and starts a new life eventually becoming a mayor.

Theater Whore: Rise Of The Guardians

Let me start off by saying that I loved this movie. I really did. There have been few things that had such an emotional impact on me. To name a few there was An American Tail, Antwone Fisher, John Q., and watching Eddie Guerrero tributes on Youtube. I didn’t expect this movie to be as good as it was and it was a super surprise to me. Okay. Now that that’s out of the way lets begin.

This is about Jack Frost who is pretty much the ignored spirit of the holidays. He’s hanging out in a small town helping some kids have fun by creating a snow day for them. He feels unappreciated by everyone and asks The Man In The Moon aka Sky Jesus to help him out and gets no answer. At the North Pole Santa Claus senses that something is wrong and calls all the guardians together including Frost who is confused since he doesn’t consider himself one of them.