Casting Slouch: Rebooting X-Men Franchise Part 3

This is the third and final installment of me trying to cast the X-Men reboot because the shit needs to be rebooted even though they are trying their damnedest not to. X-Men: Dark Phoenix comes out next year and I can not wait to not watch it. I'm not even mad that the guy directing it has never directed a movie before. Whatever. You just point and shout “Action!” right? The problem with these movies is that they are built around scenes and wondering how cool something will look instead of focusing on the story. It is hard enough just being who they are. You do not need world enders popping up in ever battle. And no one is new to the teams. They are a team al-damned-ready. Click here for previous Rebooting X-Men Franchise.

Casting Slouch: Rebooting X-Men Franchise Part 1

Finally! After years and years of nonsense and back and forth the Marvel cinematic universe is in the hands of Disney. It cost $52 billion which sounds like a shit ton, because, well, it is, but think of the future bank that can be made by having these movies under one umbrella instead of in Fox's hands. Reports stated that Fox wanted to focus more on news and sports which are two things I do not give a damn about. This means that things like X-Men, Deadpool, and Fantastic Four can now get a proper movie. In case you've forgotten there have been four films made in three different ways.

This got me into some hopeful and nerdy ass thinking. Does this mean that we'll be able to get a decent X-Men movie? Yeah, I know some of you have liked them but to me they are ass garbage and I would love for them to reboot the series. Like, a complete reboot. I do not want a single person associated with the previous movies near these. I don't want to pretend that I have to know that this may be a different universe (thanks, Logan).

Theater Whore: X-Men Apocalypse

X-Men Apocalypse 1/10

This will have all kinds of spoilers. Ooh, this movie is bad. X-Men Apocalypse is a movie I had no high hopes for but still saw hoping that it would surprise me. And it did. I was surprised that this was filmed, edited, and completed without someone going “Wow, this is kinda terrible.” I'm not gonna waste time mentioning all the actors names or anything. Its just not worth it. I'll spend my energy complaining and will be drained by the end of this. I wasn't a big fan of Origins but liked the Magneto parts. Days Of Future Past was a joke. I won't mention the Wolverine movie because I like to think it didn't exist.

Theater Whore: X-Men Days Of Future Past

X-Men Days Of Future Past 4/10

The funny thing about this movie is that the more I talk about it the more I dislike it. By the time I'm done I may even drop it lower (its currently at a 4/10 for me). I had heard a lot of good things about this movie from people who are fans of comic book films. I tried not to let that influence me too much. I wasn't even too excited to see this because of how bad that last Wolverine movie was so damned bad and X-Men Origins: First Class being good only when Michael Fassbender was on screen.

What's cool is that since there have been a total of seven films in this X-Men universe I have absolutely no need to bring up the comic books. So when I sit here and point out all of the inconsistencies that happen in this film that correlate with the other six its fine. Right?

Nope.

There will be tons of spoilers.

Theater Whore: The Wolverine

Before I start this will be full of spoilers. I was not a fan of the first Wolverine movie seeing as how Liev Schreiber seemed to be the only one that decided to take the script seriously. The rest of the film was a bloodless confusing film. My biggest problem is letting go of comic book shit and just watching a movie which is why I love when things have no history to them. I cant sit there and go “That is so not how that is supposed to happen!” 

With Wolverine you are dealing with a character that has decades worth of history in comics and has been alive for a few hundred years. Then you have the movie version (he has appeared in six films now) where they seem to mix things up even further. Okay, I am jumping ahead of myself. The Wolverine is a series of action scenes with a plot that if you kept thinking about it would make your face explode which would be okay with him because he can heal. Sometimes. Then fine others. Then not so much the next. Oh, fuck it.