Casting Slouch: Rebooting X-Men Franchise Part 1

Finally! After years and years of nonsense and back and forth the Marvel cinematic universe is in the hands of Disney. It cost $52 billion which sounds like a shit ton, because, well, it is, but think of the future bank that can be made by having these movies under one umbrella instead of in Fox's hands. Reports stated that Fox wanted to focus more on news and sports which are two things I do not give a damn about. This means that things like X-Men, Deadpool, and Fantastic Four can now get a proper movie. In case you've forgotten there have been four films made in three different ways.

This got me into some hopeful and nerdy ass thinking. Does this mean that we'll be able to get a decent X-Men movie? Yeah, I know some of you have liked them but to me they are ass garbage and I would love for them to reboot the series. Like, a complete reboot. I do not want a single person associated with the previous movies near these. I don't want to pretend that I have to know that this may be a different universe (thanks, Logan).

The Review: Swiss Army Man

Swiss Army Man 8/10

Someone at work showed me the trailer for Swiss Army Man and the next day my cousin Jasmine mentioned it because she had seen it. We decided to check it out and I am so glad we did. This is one of those movies where if the trailer doesn't get you interested you should skip it. I saw it and was all in. This stars Paul Dano as this guy named Hank all alone on an island that wants to just die. He is just about to hang himself when he notices a man wash ashore. He slips and for real begins to hang before falling down and pulling the body ashore.

The Review: Imperium

Imperium 6/10

My cousin Jasmine had mentioned this movie called Imperium to me starring Daniel Radcliffe so we watched it the other day. He plays an FBI agent that goes undercover to find out about some white supremacist groups that have this poison and may be using it to start a race war. Its based on a true story so he is in almost every scene. He is just a dorky ass dude who has his boss played by Toni Collette ask him to do this and helps train him on how to be trusted and get information. It involves changing where he lives, shaving his head, and getting a big ass tattoo on his arm which I would have been like “Yeah...but no.”

The Review: The Woman In Black

I got to see the movie The Woman In Black starring Daniel Radcliffe with H., Beastman, and B. the other day. I'd heard of the movie and ha a vague idea of what it was about. Thankfully it was not one of those “based on a true story” movies that have no real ending. I hate those. It's always some bendy White girl that does yoga posing weird and screaming while vomiting black goo. I just described my next girlfriend.

This movie is about Radcliffe as Arthur Kipps who is a lawyer heading to this creepy ass small English village which means that everyone there will be creepy and superstitious. He is going there to handle a dead woman's papers and leaves his son and caretaker behind. When he gets there everyone tries to hurry him out but he is stubborn (stupid) and stays to finish the job even though there is an obviously angry ghost haunting the place and making kids kill themselves.

Theater Whore: Horns

Horns 7/10

Oh, how a trailer can ruin a good movie! This movie Horns is one of the strangest and fun movies I've seen this year and if it weren't for an interview with the star Daniel Radcliffe I heard last week I wouldn't have known this movie even existed. I had not seen any trailers or heard a damned thing about this. I decided to give it a try since it is in theaters as well as On Demand and I am glad that I did.

This is the story of revenge and if there's one thing I love its a good revenge story. Radcliffe stars as Ig aka Iggy. He is a okay enough guy that works as a DJ. His girlfriend is this perfect girl named Merrin played by Juno Temple. They are a great couple and love each other very much which means that somebody has got to go. Merrin has gots to go!