Thursday, April 19, 2018

Casting Slouch: Rebooting X-Men Franchise Part 3



This is the third and final installment of me trying to cast the X-Men reboot because the shit needs to be rebooted even though they are trying their damnedest not to. X-Men: Dark Phoenix comes out next year and I can not wait to not watch it. I'm not even mad that the guy directing it has never directed a movie before. Whatever. You just point and shout “Action!” right? The problem with these movies is that they are built around scenes and wondering how cool something will look instead of focusing on the story. It is hard enough just being who they are. You do not need world enders popping up in ever battle. And no one is new to the teams. They are a team al-damned-ready. Click here for previous Rebooting X-Men Franchise.

Jane Levy as Jean Grey. I hope that this girl is really a redhead. Levy is 28 years old and has been in enough movies the past few years where I feel comfortable giving her this part. I've seen her in Don't Breathe. I want to see her as Jean Grey and have no one ever mention the fact that a Dark Phoenix exists. None! That shit is far too complex to be squeezed into a one movie or even five. The shit's that serious. 

Though I want her to struggle with her powers at first I want her to not look like she is dying every other time she uses her damned power. That shit got old years ago even on the cartoon. She is in a coma after her friends gets into a car accident and links with her mind damaging it. And I want her to be known as Marvel Girl and wear her old masked costume. It's not like she needs to run around having her real name being shouted during battle. Telekinesis is the only power she should use and ease in telepathy later on. I will also make her far stronger mentally than she has been portrayed. I want her to be powerful so that if and when years later she becomes Dark Phoenix (which will not happen if I have my way!) it is even scarier because her normal form is mighty. Oh, and no clones. Ever.

Dylan O'Brien as Ice Man. This one is going to be difficult. In the movies Ice Man has been portrayed as a side character even though he is one of the original members of the group. Hell, it wasn't until way later I found out her was an X-Man team member since I associated him with Spider Man & His Amazing Friends. I am used to him being slick and shiny when in reality his original form was more of a slush man. Picture a thinner snowman with boots on. He gets locked up for his own protection, the team wants him, he wants to stay, a fight happens, he joins the team. Decades later they write him as homosexual. 

I want this kid from Maze Runner to play him because, honestly, with all the people I searched for he is the only one that fits this for me. I'm sure there is some unknown actor out there that could pull this off but I wouldn't know until I auditioned them. Plus while good looking he is not distracting which is what I want for a character like this because I want him in snow form more often than not. Still thinking of practical effects for it. I mean, as bad as the original Fantastic Four movie was when The Thing was in rock form it looked better than any of the remakes.

Ansel Elgort as Cyclops. Yeah, I want Baby Driver as Cyclops. Besides the fact that I like the kid he is also tall as shit. Allegedly 6 foot 3 I think that would be awesome for Cyclops to be tall for once. In the early X-Men films he is shorter than Wolverine and in these newer movies he has an Instagram pout at all times. I hate that kids face. I mean, the two biggest movies he is known for have him wearing goggles so all's you focus on is his mouth. He is typecast for his lips. His is lipscast!

I want him and Jean so into each other when they start dating which will be nice since in the movies he seems to be keeping the bed warm for Wolverine. We will not go into Cyclops childhood other than the fact that a plane crashed and he was separated from his brother. No mention of his father becoming a space pirate or his mutant brother. None! He has an amazing ability but gets shit on by writers so much. He shoots laser beams out of his fucking eyes! Why is that not cool?! I think it is because they make it where if you bump into him and he loses his glasses he becomes a liability. As team leader I want him to act like the team leader. No more of this standing on the sideline and letting the “cooler” characters run the show and just waiting until Cyclops dies.

Click here for previous Casting Slouch.

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