Pacific
Rim Uprising 2/10
This
movie bummed me out and will have spoilers. In no world should a movie
based around giant ass robots beating the hell out of alien creatures
from another dimension be dull and feel long but Pacific Rim Uprising
found a way to do it through a bad story, questionable technology,
and super underdeveloped characters. I'm not saying the first film,
which I loved and bought, was some Oscar worthy movie, but at least
it had some heart to it. This movie screamed “Buy toys associated
with this and look we have some kid here that you can relate to and
holy shit is that a cute little robot that is the perfect size for
your child of course it is because fuck you this is Pacific Rim
Uprising!” I'm barely gonna say anyone's names because most of the
people in this are just targets anyway.
Ten
years after the first film the world is trying to rebuild itself.
People are stealing whatever Jaeger technology they can for money
like Jake Pentecost played by John Boyega. He is the son of Idris
Elba from the first movie that he never...ever mentioned. They should
have made this his brother or something because having him as his kid
that he never mentioned while doting over the young girl he found and
saved removed any emotional impact the fact that his father died to
save the world. Anyway, he gets chased stealing parts to discover
that a young girl stole the part already. He gets followed, the get
chased, captured, and they has to go help save the world. So...yeah.
They
meet Scott Eastwood who knew Jake when they were training together.
They are not fans of one another. The rest of the team is a bunch of
young folks from different countries that act like what they look
like. There is no backstory given to them. Hell, even the little girl
that is the co-star has her backstory shown but it is shorter than
this lady who returns in this one when hers was shown in the first.
Is that confusing? Good. Welcome to the club! I laughed when they
showed her parents gets killed because it was a cut scene from Monty
Python.
Honestly,
the rest of the movie is cities being damaged beyond repair. At one point they run out of buildings to throw at a creature. I'm not
making that up. I wish this movie had been cool. Even if you do not
like the first film it looks cool. This one takes place during the
day and it did not translate well. It doesn't help that the effects
felt like a step down from the first one. The robots did not feel as
real as in the first one. When they moved my brain translated it as
if I were watching a video game especially when I saw how much damage
was taking place. I mean Tokyo will never exist again! Like, ever!
They smashed that shit! The humor in this did not fit the situations.
You don't get to throw snowballs after landing from space and barely
surviving. Knocking a guy out that almost destroyed the planet and
making a funny one liner isn't humorous. The rating for this review
drops with every paragraph so I'll stop here and say don't waste your
time watching this movie.
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