Power
Rangers 2/10
Sometimes
I feel like watching a nonsense ass film while I iron. The one I
chose today was Power Rangers. I was not a huge fan of the original
series though I was a major fan (and still am) of the Pink Ranger Amy Jo Johnson. Seriously. She is one of the cutest women to ever exist.
Back to the new crap. All I knew about this movie was that one of the
villains looked terrible when he finally appeared and I was not
disappointed. He looked real bad. This will be full of spoilers aka
time saving.
The
Red Ranger is a guy that is a fuck up football quarterback. The Pink
Ranger is a girl that did something mean online. I think. She cuts her
hair during detention perfectly with some scissors. The Blue Ranger
has autism and is annoying as hell. The Black Ranger lives with
his sick mom. The Yellow Ranger hates that her life is so nice. That
is pretty much the extent of their characters. They are pretty damned
wack. Zordon was once a Power Ranger but put the magic stones in the
ground as he defeated Rita Repulsa. Sort of. The team trains to be
Rangers but suck and can not even morph.
This
movie was just over two hours long and they do not morph until an
hour and a half in. They somehow manage to do karate and fight rock
monsters with close to no training. Even Zordon thinks they suck.
They also figure out how to control the Megazord in a moment. Goldar,
instead of being the huge monkey/knight, is a blob made of gold. Rita
has the ability to get in a Ranger's house but does not kill them.
Makes no sense. I will be shocked if this bullshit gets a sequel.
They just put five unlikable kids together, called it something kids
used to watch, and managed to create something no one would wanna
watch again.
No comments:
Post a Comment