The Review: Bird Box

Bird Box 1/10

This will be full of all the spoilers. What happens when you get John Malkovich, Machine Gun Kelly, and Lil Rel Howery in one room? Madcap adventures! I just finished watching Bird Box on Netflix starring Sandra Bullock and wow. This was pretty damned wack. I was intrigued by the posters for it I had seen and did not know what it was about or who all was in it until watching. At first I didn't even know Bullock was in it and got hesitant to give it a go which Cam made fun of me for. Other cast members include Trevante Rhodes, Jacki Weaver, Rosa Salazar, Danielle Macdonald, Tom Hollander, BD Wong, and Sarah Paulson. I also would not have watched this if I had known Susanne Bier directed it. I've seen Serena. Don't talk to me. I may make this sound more interesting than it is with my description. Like sex. That thing where you put the pee pee into the smoosh smoosh until bammy happens.

Theater Whore: Get Out

Get Out 10/10

This will have spoilers because I have so much to say about the movie Get Out. I remember last year watching the trailer for this and going “I must see this movie with a White person!” I got my wish! They weren't with me but four White ladies were in the audience when I saw this at the AMC. They probably saw me and were like “Aw, fuck...” After twenty minutes of trailers (this movie theater needs to stop that) I was ready to jump, laugh, and think way harder than I planned on. This was directed by Jordan Peele and I am excited to see what he does next. At the start a guy looking for directions and scared to be in a suburban neighborhood is choked out and kidnapped and thrown into the trunk of a car by a masked man. This stars Daniel Kaluuya as Chris Washington. He and his girlfriend of five months Rose Armitage played by Allison Williams plan to go visit her family for the first time. Chris asks her if they know he is Black and she assures him that they wont mind even though he is her first Black boyfriend.