DVDiculous: The Letter

East asked if I had seen a movie called The Letter that had come out last year starring James Franco and Winona Ryder. She didn't like it. I like the two of them just fine as actors so I gave it a try. Wow. What a boring ass movie. I'm not even mad. I'm confused. Even as I watched it I asked myself “Why was this made? Who is this for?”

Here is what the movie is described as on Wikipedia. I will not adjust any of the spelling errors. “A playwright, Martine (Ryder) suffers from paranoia and hallucations as she attempts to stage a new production. She is uncertain over whether she is deluded or if there is a plot against her. Tyrone (Franco) is an actor in Martine's new play.” Now, that sounds like it could be interesting, but its totally not. If I saw this in the theater I would be pissed not only for wasting money but because its so fucking quiet that I know my stomach would growl at all the wrong times. By the time it gets to the part where she totally loses her shit I'd already cashed out.

This felt like I was stuck hanging around listening to people's conversations that were just boring as fuck. Some sites are saying that this film is too artsy and whatnot. No. I can handle artsy. This is just balls. Big, hairy man balls just hanging right over your shoulder waiting for you to turn your head and have your cheek smack right into them. Don't bother wasting your time seeing this. It cost $10 million by the way. I'll assume 9 of that went into therapy.

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