Theater Whore: Split

Split 6/10

I did it. I saw Split directed by M. Knight Shyamalan even though I said I would never see one of his movies after The Village, Lady In The Water, and The Happening. Its been almost ten years so why the hell not, right? This will have spoilers and I spoiled this for myself before even seeing because I heard about something regarding the ending. I'm not sure if I'll mention it in this post or not. Whatever. There will be some spoilers so don't get mad when you check this out and know a bunch of shit that is gonna happen like a bunch of baby back bitches.

The Review: Justice League Dark

Justice League Dark 4/10

I watched the new Justice League Dark and was super excited because I like many of the characters individually and looked forward to seeing them in animated form. Sadly, I was disappointed in this because instead of making something original out of these characters they ended up just making another Justice League movie in the end. People all over the world are going crazy and seeing people as demons and hurting and killing them. The funny thing is that you'd assume people would run away or call the cops or a superhero or something. Instead for once they decide to take the law into their own hands and just start shooting folks.

Theater Whore: Lion

Lion 5/10

There will be some spoilers. I am baffled. That's my new favorite word by the way. I am baffled by the fact that this movie has gotten so much attention and award talk. Baffled! Its not a bad movie but its not like “Wow. This is so incredible I cant wait to tell more people about it!” Its a decent movie. Lion should have been called An Unfortunate Series Of Events...In India. I mean, come on. This kid named Saroo and his brother, mother, and younger sister and living in super poverty so they sell coal and do odd jobs to make ends meet. One day his brother leaves him to do a job and come back but Saroo gets impatient, hops on a train, and ends up almost 2,000 miles from home.

The Review: Ratchet & Clank

Ratchet & Clank 2/10

I decided to check out the movie Ratchet & Clank. I have never played the game but last year watched people play it on Youtube. Yes, that is something I do every single day. So I knew what the story of this was. This weird little creature that lives on an alien planet that is gonna be invaded by some evil creatures and he ends up joining with his favorite hero team to fight them and win but of course the villain is actually not dead. The end.

The Review: Be Cool and Mr. Nobody

Be Cool 5/10

I watched the movie Be Cool from 2005 because...reasons. I'm not even exactly sure why I watched it but I did. Guess what? Its not that good. Thankfully I was able to fast forward all of the parts where Christina Milian performed. I'm not sure how popular she was twelve years back but apparently it was enough to warrant quite a few songs from her. This stars John Travolta as a guy that worked in the mob at some point and trying to be a movie producer. There is also Uma Thurman, Cedric The Entertainer, Andre 3000, The Rock, Aerosmith...just a lot of folks. Its ridiculous.

The Review: Iron Man

Iron Man 9/10

I had not watched this movie in years. I remember liking it, watched it maybe two more times, then moved on to the other shit ton of Marvel movies that have come out. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this movie more now than I could recall. I mean, I knew I liked it and it launched all the other movies. This came out in 2008 and the effects still look good. Its funny that not even ten years later that I can make a comment like that but CGI changes so damned fast now that even The Matrix is laughable when you watch it today. Bullet time my ass. They do that in candy commercials now.

The Review: He Never Died

He Never Died 9/10

There will be spoilers. I thoroughly enjoyed this crazy ass movie! I was browsing my Netflix and stumbled across this movie He Never Died. It stars Henry Rollins as a guy named Jack. He lives in a regular apartment, pays rent in cash, and does the same thing every single day. He goes to a diner, plays bingo at church three times a week, and pick up something from an intern at a hospital and tosses it in his fridge. He is at home just waiting for time to pass when a girl comes to his door, he opens it, and she leaves. Later two guys show up looking for Jack's supplier. He beats their asses pretty easily and though he is shot in the hand he just wraps it and goes to bed.

The Review: The 36th Chamber Of Shaolin

The 36th Chamber Of Shaolin 6/10

I watched the Shaw Brothers movie from 1978 called The 36th Chamber Of Shaolin. This was longer than the old kung fu films that I am used to watching and watched an ass load of when I was a little kid. It stars Gordon Liu as Liu Yude who is a student that is rebellious against the government which back in the day was dangerous as hell and could get you beaten or killed. Remember when it was dangerous to rebel against the government? Man. Those days were rough. Nowadays we can say or do whatever we want.

The Review: Turbo Kid

Turbo Kid 8/10

This will have spoilers. Months ago someone at work suggested this movie to me after we all got into a conversation about the Nintendo Power Glove. He said that there was this movie called Turbo Kid where the kid had a Power Glove on. Sadly, that was all it took to get me interested in the movie. This came out in 2015 and like Kung Fury, which everyone should watch on Youtube, is made and designed to be very 80's based. It stars Munro Chambers as this kid that lives alone in the post-apocalyptic world of 1997. I don't recall that being said in the film but Wikipedia says its so. He pretty much just dicks around the wasteland collecting trash and trading it in for water. No one has gasoline so they all travel on bikes, even the hard ass bad guys.

My Song Of The Week: I'm Still Trying Collection

I tend to make a song a day or at the very least five a week for over a year now. Since the start of the year I have made 13 songs and have tried to experiment more and do things differently that I have the past year and a half. This is a collection of the songs I have made so far this year. There are a couple of remixes of other songs in but the rest I slapped together. Click here for previous My Song Of The Week. Just click the little arrows to skip or go back.

 

The Review: Emerald City Pilot Episode

Emerald City (Pilot) ?!/10

I have to start this by saying that commercials are the devil. I am use to watching things online or being able to skip right through commercials that it made it so hard to even begin to really get into this new series Emerald City. Its an odd feeling watching a hot chick get water-boarded and then have Jimmy Fallon dancing on the screen with a Golden Globe or someone having their brains blown out and then being shown fat pills that have the side effect of suicide along with twins at Burger King talking great deals. I am half-assed making excuses for this show because I want it to be good and there are a lot of very attractive women on here and I want to look at their faces more because I am a sad man.

The Review: Zoolander 2

Zoolander 2 – 1/10

The thing that bugged me so much about Zoolander 2 is the fact that there were so many moments that it ha to be a funny movie but each time it went somewhere completely different for a while before showing something else that had the potential to be funny and then dumping it for far less funny stuff. I watched this on Amazon and had no idea it was even on here. I actually kind of forgot that this movie existed. I probably should have kept it that way. Benedict Cumberbatch as the model All could have been fun as a villain. Nope. Most of All is in the trailer. Will Ferrell comes in as Mugatu like an hour into the movie. Owen Wilson's character getting his entire orgy crew pregnant made zero sense. His orgy was funny in the first movie but they dragged this to the literal end.

My Song Of The Week: Deadshot

I did this song a couple of days ago titled Deadshot. I took the beat from my other song Infinite Ammo and mixed it with the Filter song Hey Man Nice Shot. I like the way it came out. Click here for previous episodes.

The Review: Boondock Saints

Boondock Saints 5/10

If you had me write this when I first saw this movie I would have been like “9 out of 10! Awesome movie!” But as someone that is on the wrong side of 30 I cant even come close to rating Boondock Saints that high. This is not a terrible movie but after watching so many other films over this particular one does not live up to the memory hype. Its like when you think of how cool 80's cartoons were but watch them again and realize that all the cool shit was in the last minutes when the team formed Voltron or He-Man showed up. The rest was booty ass.

My Song Of The Week: Loud Noises

I did this song called Loud Noises using sound bites from Anchorman. I felt like doing just something loud as hell and this worked out. I did it at a mixture of 70 and 140 bpm. Click here for previous My Song Of The Week.