Sunday, January 20, 2019

You Had One Job: Punisher Season 2



Punisher Season 2 (1/10)

This will be filled with spoilers and long. “Oh, shut up!” is not something I expected to say a lot while watching season two of Punisher on Netflix. It seems that the second season of shows based on Marvel characters have to suck. Daredevil season two was horrible except for Punisher which is funny in hindsight. Luke Cage season two was garbage except for Bushmaster. Jessica Jones had a horrible second season. I barely even touched Iron Fist season two. Bernthal seemed ready to come back and do what he did the first time around and I was all for it but even during the first episode I had some idea that this may not be what I was hoping for. By the third episode I realized that this was a shit show but I was gonna finish it regardless. It got worse as it went on which is amazing. They introduced characters that were like Punisher-lite. Entire back stories for others I did not give a fuck about. Yeah, they had to pad this out because it has way too many episodes but when you really look at it this entire season could have been done in four episodes. I almost feel like they made this terrible on purpose because they knew there would be no season three. This is not The Review of Punisher Season 2. This is me bitching and ranting. Before I start getting into specific characters and such let me tell you about the shitty sound on this. Netflix has a habit of hiring people who are not good with sound editors. As someone who was once an assistant editor you are given guidelines for how low and how high things can be. There are a lot of checks before it gets to air. This show sounds like they had temps doing the shit. Conversations sounded like mumbling while the music came through loud and clear.

Jon Bernthal returns as Frank Castle/Punisher/Pete/Peter Castiglione. He is the same guy he was in the first season but is surrounded by dumb people. I know that the character of Punisher is a thin thing. I was shocked that I enjoyed season one as much as I did. I was shocked I liked him in the second season of Daredevil. But this second season sadly did not need to even happen as happy as I was that it came out. Punisher is traveling around not punishing and ends up boning own with a bartender. Things are going nicely which means stupid things need to happen and someone needs to get hurt. This happens in the form of one of the most annoying characters in television. I'll get to her later. They have Punisher get shot, beaten, or hospitalized long enough for other characters to have their lame ass stories told. This season needed Ebon Moss-Bachrach as Micro so fucking bad it's not even funny. There were no other people to flesh Punisher out more which is something a character who is like a mad dog needs. The fact that even in a small town they don't know who Punisher is makes no sense. He did not kill two people and get arrested and that was the end. He killed a lot of people and it was all over the news. But it seems like the news does not leave New York on this show. He didn't even look different like at the start of season one with long hair and a beard. What truly sucks is that there are scenes where I got glimpses of goodness. The forest fight scene. The Russian gym fight. There are moments of potential but these are moments. Two minutes of good and fifty plus of bullshit.

Giorgia Whigham as Amy Bendix was one of the worst additions to this show. Every time she talked, moved, or made a face the words “ACTING! SHE IS ACTING! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BE INVESTED IN ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS WHILE SHE IS ON SCREEN BECAUSE SHE IS ACTING!!!” The look on Punisher's face is the same one I had whenever she was on screen. When Punisher saves her thereby ruining his current joy I thought she would be on the show until he left this small town. Then she came to the city. Then his trailer. She wouldn't leave! This wet fart would not leave the show and stays the entire time. I know this is not real. But on movies and shows there are people that are good at acting. They are good at acting like they are lying and they are good at acting like bad liars. This woman acted so bad at bad lying that everyone she talked to should have just pie-faced her. It was as if they took a template of every annoying kid trait and downloaded it into this role. If a kid is on a show I am shocked if they are not annoying to me. This woman is only useful when other people make mistakes so stupid they get on her level. She never tells the truth and wants to be left alone but when she is alone she is almost killed. Like, every fucking time she leaves the room someone tries to attack her. This character should have been in one, maybe two, episodes and then Frank could move on with another story. But they turned this into a whole Russian mob, government, crime conspiracy. She lasts the entire season and does not get better at anything.

Amber Rose Revah as Dinah Madani did not need to come back. Get used to this image of her because it is what she does 80% of the time. She and the rest of the law enforcement in this show are a terrible joke. Her story in the first season was fine. She wanted revenge for someone who was killed and Punisher was involved pre-Punisher and then her new partner got killed. She ended up having sex with a psychopath and eventually got her ass shot in the head. She would flip flop on helping Punisher or not. Well, lather, rinse, repeat. This time she wants the psycho to die and she wants Punisher to stop killing. No, she wants him to keep killing. No. Stop killing. Keep killing. Okay, kill but only kill the killers I want killed. I don't fucking care! When I talk about how folks complain about the lack of strong women on TV I laugh because in the shows I tend to watch the women run shit. There is also the fact that the people that complain about the lack of strong women on TV don't even watch TV or watch old shit they used to watch. This character used to be an example of a strong woman on TV. Not anymore. Just because you shoot folks does not make you strong. She went from being a tough ass lady to another weak woman. The women on this show are super weak and damaged and I would use this season as an example of how not to have women written. I write a lot of stories and the women aren't written to be tough on purpose. They just happen to not be weak asses like the ones on this show. 

“Frank, save us! Frank, change! Frank, help us! Frank, you need to stop being what you obviously are!” You don't get to dream about wanting someone dead that shot you, visiting them every day while they are laid up, help Punisher hunt the guy down, and then continually try to stop him from doing what you want. Everyone is stupid. You can shoot them and as long as you promise not to do it again they will let you go. She constantly does shit illegally where even if she was successful the shit would not hold up in court which is probably why everyone just ends up shot and killed. In one scene she fights a therapist. She has a gun, the therapist has scissors that she drops after the first swipe. I kept saying “You're a cop. A trained officer. Combat skills. You are losing to an unarmed therapist.” Oh, and the cops. There is a scene where Frank is in the hospital handcuffed and there is one cop guarding the door. For The Punisher. One guard. I have worked in a hospital and there were always two cops minimum watching convicts getting surgery and they were not on Punisher level. The police on this show are never around either. You can just grab a cop car and drive it around like one of those street scooters.

Josh Stewart as John Pilgrim filled in about four episodes worth of story that I didn't care about. Who is he? Why is he the way he is? Why is he doing what he is? I do not give a fuck! He and too many others got pilot episodes that I never asked for and added nothing to the show. If he were the only bad guy this season I would get it. But besides the dozen other people trying to kill Punisher and like five actively getting their own episodes and stories this one was not interesting at all. He is super religious. He used to be a Nazi. His wife is dying. He has some sons. Don't care. One of the problems, one of many, is that he like others on this show get way too much air time when it really doesn't matter. By the time his story wraps up I so didn't give a shit about his life. He shouldn't have even been able to walk let alone beat the shit out of Punisher. He is another one whose story does not end until the very last episode. By the way, the whole making him a Nazi or former Nazi is such a cheap move and lazy. When they showed him getting dressed an they focused on the fading tattoos I rolled my eyes so hard I fainted. He is a shitty human, husband, and father. But he ends up winning in the end.

Ben Barnes as Billy Russo made me laugh. I was excited to see what he would look like under his mask. Then I saw it and it was just some scars. If you have seen the character in the comics or even that terrible Punisher movie his face is super fucked. He was very vain about his appearance so having his face mangled on top of his psychosis made him dangerous. Frank gets his face fucked up worse in every episode than what they did to this guys face all season. He gets treated by a therapist who obviously is gonna fall in love with him. She lets him design his own mask which is fucking stupid. When people see his face they are like “Oh, god!” You will see worse scars in the streets than this. He has no memory of anything but it starts to come back. We get parts of his past that made him the way he is and make us more sympathetic to him. Nah. Didn't work. He is an asshole and surrounds himself with people who are dumb enough to follow his lead. If I am in a gang and the leader just blows some dudes head off that we are working with I leave as soon as possible. I don't ask what the next plan of action is. He starts hiring vets that feel left behind so this is a rehash of the kid from last season that went off the rails but multiplied. He and the therapist are like a textbook case of a punk ass dude that knows how to find a seriously broken woman and that woman looking for someone that knows she is broken and super down with it. I am also willing to accept that Punisher can get his ass mangled and keep going. But you can't have everyone with that ability. When he finally dies it is so not satisfying. They couldn't even let Dinah have that to close her story out.

Floriana Lima as Krista Dumont is the worst. Whenever she talked to people it sounded like she had just learned therapy keywords online and would be damned if she wasn't gonna use all of them in conversations. When she talked to Billy it was clear why he wasn't getting any better. Everything she said was bullshit. She tells Billy her story as they get closer and by closer I mean after he breaks into her home, threatens to kill her, destroys her place, and they kiss. It was so stupid. She was pure victim. This was not some tale of someone taking a tragedy that happened to them and using it to become a stronger person. Her father tossed her out a window and she had a lot of surgery to get fixed. When she gets near a window she gets nervous so expect this to come into play. She ends up having a LONG talk with Dinah about right and wrong. It continues as a voice over that is long and boring and ruins scenes that would have been better with just suspenseful music or silence. Nah. Have them ramble about morality. She gets into a fight with Dinah and damn near kills her. Dinah tosses her through a window. Thank god. She fell three stories to her death, landed face first on the ground, sees her dead father in a vision, Billy sees her body as he arrives with flowers, gets upstairs to fight Dinah, gets shot point blank three times in the body, and escapes. And Krista is not dead! She is in a hospital with her arm jacked. Face looks fine. So...yeah.

I wish they had not done this season. If they had just had the first season and I found all all these Marvel series were being canceled I would have been bummed out but understood. Maybe held out some hope that when it goes to the Disney+ service that it would continue but of course without any rambling blowjob scenes. Yeah, that is a thing that happens. But the way they are writing and making these latest shows I would prefer to have things left to my imagination and wishing they could come back instead of having them be presented in such a shitty way as this series was. I know online people are praising this show but saying the girl is annoying but it also seems like they are talking about the first three episodes. I don't watch shows hoping they are going to suck. I loved the first season of this. I think Jon Bernthal is perfect as Punisher. I would have loved to see him return. Would have. But I have lost hope that they can take this character to another streaming service and make it something I wanna watch.

Click here for previous You Had One Job.

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