The Review: Fantastic Beasts The Secrets of Dumbledore

Fantastic Beasts The Secrets of Dumbledore 7/10

Thanks to L. I have now seen every Harry Potter movie as well as Fantastic Beasts and Crimes Of Grindelwald. This is not gonna be a flat out review of the movie. I enjoyed it but the more I think about it I can't get over the fact that Johnny Depp was replaced the way he was (though he still got paid because “pay or play” exists) and while the new actor they chose is okay I was digging the hell out of Depp in the role, especially in the second film. I would have loved to see how he would have been in this and in some alternate universe he is in this and rocked that shit. Hell, they could have just lade up one line like “Grindelwald has used a spell and changed his appearance!” They kept the fucking problem child in this movie who has been a problem for a long ass time in this but not the guy that hasn't been convicted of a crime. Okay. I'm done ranting about that. I try to leave real life shit out of the stuff I watch but with this is felt weird not to considering the shit is still going on.

The Review: Dark Passage

Dark Passage 8/10

This was a damn good movie. L. and I were watching this channel called M. or something. Its on regular antennae TV which people forget exists. This is about this guy named Vincent Parry that escapes from San Quentin. On the way after escaping in a car with this guy they play the news of his escape so he knocks the guy out. Parry meets up with a friend and explains his situation to him and how he was framed for murdering his wife. His friend Sam hooks him up with a plastic surgeon who does some quick work and wraps his face up. He tells him to not mess with it for a while until it heals. Vincent heads back to Sam's and find shim dead. Now he is on the super run!

The Review: Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers

Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers 9/10

This movie was fucking good! I didn't even wanna watch this. I heard it was a thing and then L. and I ended up watching and laughing a lot. I thought this would be some cheap version of the original cartoon that I enjoyed but they made it like Chip and Dale were real ass things and had a whole career and lives outside the show. Humans just live with cartoons Roger Rabbit style. Dale decides to leave the original series to spin off on his own after feeling as if he is just the butt of every joke. He ends up having a B-list career whip Chip goes on to work at an insurance agency. One day Monterey Jack calls up Chip because he is in trouble with the Valley Gang because he is addicted to stinky cheese and owes money to Sweet Pete aka an older Peter Pan whose career ended when he aged. Pete takes these characters, straight up bootlegs them, and makes cheap version of famous films. Its honked up but I laughed too hard at what they did to Flounder from The Little Mermaid. They end up working with the police, specifically a fan named Ellie who I thought was dirty, then not, then dirty again.

The Review: Moon Knight

Moon Knight Season 1 (10/10)

I feel like every time I watch one of these new Marvel series that I end up thinking “This had no right to be as good as this is.” Almost no one knows who the hell Moon Knight is. I knew who he was but I wasn't a massive fan or anything. I knew he had powers associated with an ancient god and that he had multiple personalities. That is about it. I knew that the star of this would be good but not as good as he was. This about a guy named Steven Grant that works at a museum. At night he chains himself to his bed and covers the floor with sand, and tapes the door to see if he has left for some reason. One night he wakes up in another country and being chased and shot at. He experiences black outs where he will snap back and there is just carnage everywhere. He ends up finding out that he is living a double life where he is also Marc Spector who is a former mercenary and looking for an ancient relic in order to keep it from this guy named Arthur Harrow. Marc's wife shows up and she gets in on all this crazy ass stuff.

The Review: A Quiet Place 2

A Quiet Place 2 (8/10)

This movie had me tense as hell. I have not seen the first movie but L. gave me a pretty good recap of the film and combined with what I knew of the film that was enough. So these monsters that hunt by using sound show up and wreck shit. The focus is on the Abbott family that consists of a mom, dad, deaf daughter, son, and younger son. Younger son gets snatched by creature because he sets off a toy rocket sound. Mom gives birth silently after stepping on nail. Dad sacrifices himself. Deaf daughter realizes that creatures are sensitive to sound from her hearing aid. This movie starts off showing how these monsters first showed up. Whole nice ass town at a baseball game when suddenly they see something crashing to Earth. They calmly, surprisingly calmly, leave the game and then all of the hell breaks loose!

The Review: What Ever Happened To Baby Jane

What Ever Happened To Baby Jane Classic/10

This movie was insane. I thought that I'd watched What Ever Happened To Baby Jane because I had seen so many clips and such. I did the same thing with Ghostbusters a few years back. This movie was intense as hell. I starts with this little girl named Baby Jane performing on stage with her father as her mother and sister Blanche watch from backstage. After the show Jane is acting like a little shit in front of everyone and Blanche's mom is like “When you grow up please don't be like her.”

The Review: Roar

Roar DNF/10

So a few weeks back L. found this series called Roar on Apple+. I had not heard of it and after watching just two episodes I will say that I wish I had not even watched the damn thing. Some stuff just ain't made for me and judging by these two episodes this is one of them. Each episode is a different story of varying lengths and the first I will talk about probably needed about another twenty minutes to make sense.