Theater Whore Jason Bourne

Jason Bourne 7/10

Last week me and Mala went to see Jason Bourne after filling our bodies with delicious bacon at Grub. This was a surprise trip to the theater because though I wanted to see this I wasn't expecting to opening day. It was early in the afternoon and I was surprised by how many people were in the theater. I am a huge fan of the Bourne films...except for that Jeremy Renner one which I haven't heard anyone say they enjoyed. I mean, seriously. That movie was a box of ass.

This takes place after the last time Matt Damon played Bourne. He spends his time punching people in the face and getting his ass kicked. I think he does it for cash. I don't recall seeing money change hands. Nicky Parsons played by Julia Stiles aka My 20 Year Crush shows up in Iceland still on the run from those Treadstone folks and hacks into their system. They find out that she stole some very sensitive information that will reveal some things to Bourne that would make him snap and kill all of their asses.

Theater Whore: Tale Of Tales

Tale Of Tales 9/10

The first film Koko and I saw for the AFI festival was Tale Of Tales. I knew nothing of this movie going in and intentionally wanted it that way. When I see independent or strange ass foreign films the less I know the better. This film was based on some old fairy tales where it involves three separate kingdoms and their rulers actions and wants leading to terrible things occurring. The stories kind of go back and forth between each other. There will be spoilers.

The first starred Selma Hayek and John C. Reilly as a king and queen that want children but can not have them. The queen has tried many things but none seem to work. One day this creepy ass guy shows up and tells her that she needs the heart of a sea creature that is cooked by a virgin for her to instantly become pregnant. She is all in. The king goes to slay this creature and is mortally wounded. She finds a virgin that cooks this massive heart and while doing so the virgin as well as the queen become pregnant.