Nothing But Gossip June 4th 2014

In her DWI case in New Jersey, Dina Lohan, was given 100 hours of community service and her license revoked for a year. “The only person responsible for this ordeal is Miss Lohan. She is just lucky nobody was killed. She may not be as lucky next time” the judge told her. Seriously. If you're getting behind the wheel of a vehicle drunk you're actively being a silly person. Her ex husband Michael Lohan has been ordered to pay $20,000 for their sons schooling or be arrested. This family is a hot ass mess.

Jonah Hill apologized after telling an annoying photographer to “suck my dick, you faggot!” That entire sentence makes no sense. Now he is on the apology tour coming close to crying because he had to be a jackass instead of having fun promoting his new movie.

V. Stiviano says that she was attacked in New York and filed a police report. Some are speculating this occurred because of a video that was posted showing her talking mad shit about Black people in an audition for a reality show a few years back. A guy, one of two, was arrested and charged with a third degree hate crime and harassment.

Donald Sterling, who is the reason why we know the chick above, has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, is suing the NBA for $1 billion, had the Clippers sold for $2 billion after his wife(?) go ownership of the team, and is still a dick.

Chris Brown has been released from jail after spending 108 days there and says that he will never go back again. Ha! He still has the assault case to go to court for which could get him four years in prison if guilty.

Serena Williams was doing a photo shoot while there was a wedding nearby. She immediately made the wedding worth all the bullshit that goes into planning them by screaming “Wedding crasher!” and wearing a one piece bathing suit.

Best. Wedding. Ever.

Camille Grammer's ex boyfriend who she claimed assaulted her is suing her. Dimitri Charalambopoulos is in turn being sued back by her. It is being said that he was accused of cheating and left the hotel they were staying at so she jacked herself up and said he did it. She filed a suit against him after the attack and even posted images of her bruised face but the case was dismissed because of lack of evidence. Whaaaaaaa...?

People are coming to Justin Bieber's defense after video was released of him telling a bad racist joke that involved dropping about a dozen n-bombs. He was 15 at the time and everyone is using his age as a defense. That shit only works for small children and old people. Someone in the video even tells him not to finish the joke when he begins. Why won't people accept that this guy has always been a dick? Usher, who discovered this human plague, bolted to his car when photographers asked him about it. “I'm very sorry. I take my friendships with people of all cultures very seriously and I apologize for offending or hurting anyone with my childish and inexcusable mistake. I was a kid then and I am a man now who knows my responsibility to the world and to not make that mistake again.” The “I am a man now” line is funny since he keeps getting into trouble for doing dumb kid shit. In the interest of fairness he did give half a million to AIDS research recently.

Ray J. was arrested for grabbing a chicks ass at the Beverly Wilshire hotel. He then spit on a cop and then kicked the window out of the patrol car because he says he was claustrophobic in there. He has been charged with trespassing, resisting arrest, vandalism, and battery on a police officer. Oh, and being an asshole. That's a thing, right?

Halle Berry is suing Toywatch for using her image and likeness without her permission. I don't really care. I just wanna use a picture of her.

Great googily moogily!

Ann B. David who played Alice on The Brady Bunch died at 88. I swear I thought she was older than the 43 years old she was when on that show.

You remember Antoine Dodson, right? “Hide ya kids, hide ya wives.”

Yeah. Him.

A while back he said that he wasn't gay anymore (I just raised my eyebrows so fast that my glasses flew across my room) and recently had a child. Yeah. That. Happened. When asked what he would do if his son was gay he responded like a crazy person would. “I wouldn't be shocked because I lived that life before," adding, "I would try and get him help. Even if he couldn't be fixed it doesn't matter because I still support him no matter what.” Yes, there are people still running around thinking gay is something that needs to be fixed. This guy is not right in the head.

Congrats...?

But come on.

Charlize Theron recently said that the coverage of her personal life “when you start living in that world, and doing that, you start feeling raped.” Don't people have people that stop people from saying this kinda stuff?

Nope. Because then Gwyneth Paltrow said this. “You come across comments about yourself and about your friends, and it’s a very dehumanizing thing. It’s almost like how, in war, you go through this bloody, dehumanizing thing, and then something is defined out of it. It’s taken me a long time to get to the point where I can see these things and not take it as a personal affront and a hurt. I see myself as a chalkboard or a whiteboard or a screen, and someone is just putting up their own projection on it.”

Rapper Wiz Khalifa was arrested at an airport for weed possession and while in jail managed to take and send out a picture or “selfie” as you kids call it. Now the jail is like “How in the fuck did he have his phone behind bars?!” Somebody done goofed!

Pictured: a married father. 

Rapper T.I and professional people dodger Floyd Mayweather Jr. are fighting over T.I's wife who is not cute at all. Just sayin'. “Control yo bitch” was said. Chairs were thrown, brawls ensued, no one was arrested.

Liberty Ross who is the ex wife of director Rupert Sanders got half of what he made when they were married. This is the guy who cheated on her with Kristen Stewart while filming that horrible Snow White movie.

Terrence Howard owes his ex wife about $325,000 in late spousal payments. Damn!

This idiot, Vitalii Sediuk, who is known for going to big events and grabbing celebrities was arrested and has been told to stay away from any more red carpets premieres after jumping on Brad Pitt. This guy proves that security does not take their jobs seriously. This asshole gets within killing range of people.

Columbus Short who went from breakout star on a insanely popular TV series to assaulting his wife, threatening to kill her, having his female friend get into a fight with her, being fired from the show, being hit with a divorce and restraining order, and now doing standup in about four months is still annoying me. His ex wife, Tanee McCall, is being taken to court by Tilly Key (the friend who got her ass kicked. She freaked out after getting more Twitter followers and random late night calls. She got pulled into a crazy vortex. It happens.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are a married couple! Yay? This is his first and her third. They are back in the US and already doing what they do best: walk around going to expensive places. I'm gonna just jumble all this nonsense together. Brother Rob Kardashian left the wedding due to being overweight and not wanting to be in the pictures. 

They kept pushing him and he flew right back home from Paris where the wedding was taking place. Bruce Jenner gave Kim away. No word on who was Kanye's best man assuming it would've been Jay-Z but he decided not to go to the wedding. Brody Jenner passed on the wedding because he had to work. It all went well and everyone immediately started wondering when they would divorce and how long the marriage would last. I say two years because I'm generous.