Teenage
Mutant Ninja Turtles 2/10
At the
end of this Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie Megan Fox has a facial
expression and it caught me off guard. That isn't a good way for me
to start this off. This movie didn't need to be made. I know it isn't
for fans of the comic books or animated series. Any of the animated
series. And if it is for new fans, you know, trying to bring them in
then it seems like they would have put a little more effort into
making these characters likable or at the very least cool. It failed
on every level from the acting, the voices, the action, and the plot.
My god, the plot! And please don't point out how much money this
made. Transformers has made a shit ton of money and those films are
absolute ass.
Spoilers
ahead.
This
is so different from any version of the TMNT that I've ever seen that
I was able to look at it like a brand new thing. Fox's April O'Neil
is a reporter that hates the assignments she gets. Her father was a
scientist working on science shit. His partner was evil and killed
him. Now he is working with Megatron...I mean Shredder. His plan is
to poison the city, save it with a cure that is in the turtles blood,
and the government will give them as much money as they want. Yep.
That's the story they're running with. Turns out she raised the
turtles and Splinter in the lab and fed the pizza.
Meanwhile
the turtles learn karate from a dirty manual found in the sewers
which explain why they got their asses handed to them by Shredder
when they fought. They seriously got their asses mangled. This movie
had no heart to it. It just happened. I didn't even hate it. It just
happened. Its the kinda movie you'd have on in the background while
you vacuumed and could ignore it.
Shame on them for making this
nonsense. Oh, and in case you hated this movie Megan Fox has a
message for you. “Let me tell you something about those people. How
much money did Transformers 4 make? Exactly. Those people can
complain. They all go to the theater. They're gonna love it and if
they don't love it, they can fuck off. And that's the end of that.”
Click here for previous Theater Whore.
Click here to see a drawing of the TMNT me and Quinno just did.
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