Worst Movies Of 2012 According To Dante

Every year it happens. You go to see a movie and all you want to do is shove popcorn in your ears and throw salt in your eyes so that you no longer have to endure such pain as seeing a terrible ass film. If there’s one thing I cant stand its hot chicks that hate my face. And bad movies. Man, do I hate a bad movie.

This year there seemed to be more “Meh…” films than bad ones but when they were bad, by god, they made sure that they were bad on multiple levels. Funny enough, the worst films were the ones with the biggest budgets. If you wanna see my list of Best Movies Of 2012 click all up in this sentence.

The Rant Zone Show 17

This week I discuss the Top 10 Movies of the weekend, Living With Moffett, Sherlock, Magic Mike, Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter, and Beasts Of The Southern Wild. Click here to download this and previous Rant Zones.

Theater Whore: Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter

So I decided to watch Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter. Its the story of our 16th president having a secret life where he bakes cakes. Or hunts vampires. So that happened. It starts with him as a child stopping a guy from beating this Black kids ass. Lincoln's dad locks eyes with this evil bastard and its over. That is until later on when a vampire bites Lincoln's mother while she sleeps.

Later Lincoln is getting shitfaced at a bar when a guy named Henry who can see that Lincoln is either drinking because of a woman or he's gonna kill someone. Lincoln tries to kill the guy who made his mother ill and the dick's a vampire. Lincoln ends up shooting him in the eye thinking he's dead but the guy vanishes when his back is turned. Henry trains Lincoln in the ways of vampire hunting. Which includes getting mad at life so hard that you can make a tree fucking explode because fuck nature.