FAP FILES: Carla Gugino Bionic Fap

I don’t know why but you people have made my Carla Gugino Fap Files my most popular blog ever. I know that she’s a hot woman but I had no idea that so many others agreed. I decided to do a bit more research about her and not just be a total creep and write about how so many of us wish that we could be married to her even though there’s no chance that most of us will ever get a chance to even give her a high five. See how classy I can be? I didn’t even say have sex with her. Just a sweet high five which are totally real things that you can do.

It turns out that I have had this dame in my life far longer than I had expected. Her first listed movie is Troop Beverly Hills. I looked it up and sure enough she was in that damned movie. She was also on a shit ton of shows I grew up watching like The Wonder Years, Who’s The Boss?, and ALF. It feels like I had no choice but to like her since she was so ingrained in my subconscious since I was a child. Speaking of childhood turns out that Carla (we’re on a first name basis) emancipated herself from her family when she was 16. Not for any bonkers ass reason either. By 16 she was already modeling and was able to support herself. I’m over twice that age and can barely do it!

Okay, look. I’m not gonna sit here and start listing all the damned movies this hot ass woman is in. We all for some reason think this chick is the bees knees. Its not like she has what I like when I ogle women like big thighs and a massive ass. She’s just terribly pretty. I’m sure that if I ever met her I would just smile and nod…in my head. In reality I would bit my lip and start muttering all kinds of nasty shit in a sexy Bane voice. And we all know that sexy Bane voice rules the vagina. Thanks to all you fellow pervs that have made Carla Gugino even hotter than I thought she could be. Let’s all give slow faps in her honor.