DVDiculous: Hancock

This past weekend I watched Hancock with Beastman and H. This movie came out about five years ago and I like it. Well, I like about 80% of it. When we were watching the film I told them that it is good for the most part but that it takes a terribly stupid turn at one point later in the film and that we can totally stop it right at that point and that I'd explain what happened. We did just that and I saved them about half an hour of bullshit.

Hancock played by Will Smith is about a superhero who is the only one of his kind. He is a drunk loser that the public doesn't like. Mostly due to the fact that when he attempts to save the day he ends up causing more harm than good costing the city, Los Angeles, millions in dollars of damage. While “rescuing” Jason Bateman's character from being hit by a train he decides that Hancock needs a makeover. His job is a PR guy or some vague shit that movies make up all the time.

Ross Radio Show 147

I felt like playing some 90’s hip hop. Black Sheep The Choice Is Yours, LL Cool J Loungin’, Outkast Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik, Missy Elliot Ching-A-Ling, The UMC’s Blue Cheese, Ol' Dirty Bastard Shimmy Shimmy Ya, Busta Rhymes Gimme Some More, Coolio Fantastic Voyage, Puff Daddy It's All About the Benjamins, A Tribe Called Quest Buggin’ Out. Click here for this and previous Ross Radio Shows.

Nothing But Gossip May 29th 2013

Justin Bieber was already in trouble for spitting at a neighbor after he confronted his little punkass for speeding dangerously through the neighborhood. Now he is in shit for speeding once again. Even though there are witnesses who saw him doing all of this in the second instance he says that it was not him driving. Well, that still isn't good since the last time someone was driving his car a photographer was killed. Former NFL player Keyshawn Johnson chased him down as Bieber ran for his life likely whooping like Curly from Three Stooges. Honestly, if I saw Johnson chasing me I would have run too.

Leave this poor little White girl alone!

I love that I can bring this back: Jessica Simpson is pregnant! No, that's not right. She isn't pregnant. She is fucking pregnant! So is that kind of pregnant that makes me nervous. Like she could give birth at any moment.

“Rapper” Chief Keef was arrested for the second time in one week. This time it was for speeding. This 17 year old dude has been in trouble with the law for quite some time now. But wait for it...he's a father as well. He was driving 110mph in a 55mph zone with three folks in the car with him when his permit says he can only have one. Last week he was arrested for weed possession. What a champion!

Stop It Jennifer Aniston

People like Jennifer Aniston. Men like her. Women love her. Hollywood likes her. I don’t. Never have. I have never found her funny, attractive, or seen her in a role that made me go “Wow, give that woman an Oscar!” Now, she isn’t dislikable in the way that Gwyneth Paltrow is where she says a lot of dumb shit and has total bitchface. But she comes across like someone that tries way too hard to be liked by people. Even when she says she isn’t she does. And she needs to stop it.

There are certain things that Aniston is known for. Being married to Brad Pitt from 200 to 2005, being on the show Friends, dating the biggest manwhores in Hollywood, and not seemingly being able to get over Pitt leaving her for Angelina Jolie. There were a whole string of relationships she had with guys like Adam Duritz, Vince Vaughn, Gerard Butler, and John Mayer. The last two guys do nothing but fuck women…and perform.

Ziggler Free WWE

A few weeks ago one of the few reasons I have to watch WWE anymore was hurt. I'm talking about Dolph Ziggler. I mean, I know that Roman Reigns just hurt his ankle but I know close to nothing about the guy except that he has a great Spear and gets an entire tattoo sleeve done in one week and then continues to wrestle. Seriously, how is that possible?! I have six tattoos and had to baby each one. It was hard to type let alone compete against another grown ass man. How do they do that? I recall Umaga showing up one week with an entire new back tattoo and just bouncing all over the damn place!

Wow. That was a whole new level of digression.

So while interfering with a match Jack Swagger, who in a previous article I wrote about, accidentally kicked Ziggler in the head. Ziggler ended up completing what he was there to do and it turns out that he ended up suffering from retrograde amnesia. Now being the bionic nerd that I am I looked up what this was. While there are different forms of it, the most basic of explanations if that it erases memories closest associated around the time of the injury. This would explain why Ziggler could not remember Raw until he watched it later, traveling from Raw to Smackdown, of the entirety of Tuesday.

“I don't even remember Monday until I watched Raw when I got home. I don't even remember traveling from Raw to Smackdown. I don't remember Tuesday. I remember AJ and Big E [Langston] taking me to the airport on Wednesday morning” Ziggler said during a WWE interview.

There’s no specific time frame for Ziggler’s return and that sucks. He was seriously one of the few reasons for me to watch anything in WWE. I’m tired of most of the wrestlers and really only keep up from reading sites, listening to Tha O Show, and Saturday Morning Slam. Dolph Ziggler is entertaining as fuck. I don’t know if you’ve seen his stuff lately but not only is he good, he makes the guys he’s in the ring with look good. The fact that WWE is at the point where Swagger and stinking Alberto Del Rio. Seriously? That’s all you got for the guy?

So for the time being he is a champ that cant even wrestle. Who knows how long the company can even let him sit out and heal (properly)? As much as I miss seeing the guy I hope he does come back a while from now at 100%. It just sucks that he was taken out by someone that shouldn’t even be with the company. 

Nothing But Gossip May 24th 2013

The East coast's version of Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Bynes, has been busted for pot possession. Thank god that this scourge of society is off the streets! She was rolling a joint in the lobby of her building...again...when the cops were called. She answered when they knocked and then tried to chuck a bong out the window she had. What a maroon! She also allegedly meaning likely, shouted “Don't you know who I am?!” I wonder if that line ever works. Recently she wasn't allowed to get on a private plane and tried to use Google for an ID saying, wait for it, “I'm Amanda Bynes!” This girl is priceless. A national treasure even.

Eva Longoria graduated with a master's in Chicano studies. So have I. I've studied Sofia Vergara for years now. See what I did there?!

Halle Berry is walking around all pregnant and making my penis not hard.

So Much Hate: TLC Bio Still Happening

They did it! Damn it, they did it! As much as I protested it they are going ahead with that damned TLC bio on VH1. In a previous blog I talked about the main reason I was pissed was because of the fact that they picked “rapper” Lil Mama to play Left Eye in the thing. The other chicks are cute and they actually look just like or close enough to the others. But Left Eye? Not even kinda close! This damned girl look like she is tweaking balls!

Nothing But Gossip May 5th 2013

There is video from when Reese Witherspoon was arrested along with her husband for drunk driving and being a complete asshat. She sounds like such ass asshole in the video! You can tell she is someone who has never been on the wrong side of the law.

Chris Brown has pissed off his neighbors. This time its not for loud noises or parking wherever the hell he wants. Its for graffiti. He has spray painted huge murals on his place knowing good and damned well that you cant just do shit like that. Fucking hooligan. What’s next? Hitting women?!

Buckwild hot chick Salwa Amin is being released from jail so she can go to rehab…then back to jail.

Lil Wayne has been dropped by Mountain Dew for lyrics that used Emmett Till as an example of what he’d do to a woman’s vagina during sex. “Pop a lot of pain pills, ‘bout to put rims on my skateboard wheels, beat that pussy up like Emmett Till.“