The Review: Army of The Dead

Army of The Dead 2/10

Spoilers. This won't be long. Army of The Dead would have been cooler or seemed cooler maybe ten years ago. Its a simple story that has a large cast where everyone is exactly who and what you think they are upon meeting them. I thought there would be maybe four people on the team but it ballooned and I knew who was gonna die based on their characteristics. Oh, right. The story. Military trucks crashes because some dude was getting some road head and military dudes weren't paying attention. Zombie loose. Zombie bites people. Las Vegas gets overrun and closed off. Government wants to nuke it. Guy hires team to get millions from vault. Zombies have a leader. There is a tiger zombie. Movies ends how I thought and then doubles down on it. I just shrugged when it was over. The music was cool. I will say that. The original songs and remakes. The movie itself looked weird. Not quite like a movie and not quite like a TV show. I like zombie shit. Just not this.

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The Review: Who Killed Sara? Season 2

Who Killed Sara Season Two DONE/10

I gave season one of Who Killed Sara? a MESSY/10 but if I had to give it a number score it would've been an 8/10. This one deserves a 1/10 in the most retroactive of ways. It is so rare that an entire season that is not bad but confusing as hell (much like the first one at times) can in the last thirty seconds ruin the previous two seasons as well as make me uninterested in the next one they threaten us with. I am legitimately having trouble trying to even explain everything that happened because they got super liberal with the use of flashbacks.

The Review: Mortal Kombat Legends Scorpion's Revenge

Mortal Kombat Legends Scorpion's Revenge 7/10

The other day while cruising around HBO Max and had recently watched the new Mortal Kombat and the old one (still awesome) and saw this Mortal Kombat Legends: Scorpion's Revenge movie and decided to check it out. I'm glad I did because this was pretty cool. Also, same with the latest MK movie the best parts were the ones involving Scorpion. We once again get to see his family slaughtered which is quickly becoming the new Bruce Wayne watching his parents get shot. He comes home with his son and notices that the city is too quiet. Next thing you know he is being chased by ninjas and after his son finds his mom dead Scorpion loses all of his shit! There is more violence in this scene than in all MK movies combined. He was slicing heads into threes! It was wild.

The Review: Married At First Sight Season 12

Married At First Sight Season Twelve Messy/10

So I have been watching a lot of reality TV lately. I have worked in it since 2010 so I tend to not spend my free time watching it. But since last year I have had all of the free time and L. got me into watching shows I wish I had sooner because they messy as fuck and I like watching messy. Participating? No. Watching from a safe distance and talking mad shit about strangers? Oh, for sure. This show Married At First Sight is in its 12th season and I've never watched any of them. I had heard of it but didn't even have the channels to check it out. MAFS is about some people who walk up the aisle, remove blind folds, see their new spouse, and get married. They have eight weeks to decide whether or not to stay married by the final episode. I should also point out that I didn't watch every episode so this is based on what I saw, read on Twitter, and from L. who watched like 95% of this season. I'm gonna break it down by couples and my feelings towards them while watching. I'll also give them a couples grade.

The Review: Jupiter's Legacy

Jupiter’s Legacy 0/10

Is this for real? I decided to watch the first episode of Jupiter’s Legacy on Netflix because I like the writer. After the first episode I am super okay with not finishing this. It is about a superhero family/team that is falling the fuck apart. The father has old fashioned views. The mom is a mom. The daughter is a fuck up. The son is trying to be like his dad but has a temper. The team fight a villain and the son ends up killing him but it’s a clone or something. I’m sure I can read about it later and find out. They released all the episodes at once. Just read what happens. I’m good on not finishing this. I don’t mind the bad special effects so much as the acting. Holy crap it was not good. Everyone spoke in exposition and there are flashbacks explaining the main heroes past. I don’t care. Not finishing this. You can’t be making shows this bad considering how great so many other ones are. And don’t get me started on the wigs. Jesus.

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The Review: Invincible Season One

Invincible 1/10

I legitimately don’t get why people like this show so much. I watched the first episode (click here for that) and randomly finished the rest of this series. I wasn’t engaged with any of the characters and the story could have been an 80 minute movie. The story of a new hero whose father is obviously a bad guy and his mother who is in denial about the whole thing. It was just violent for no reason with one note characters. I thought the animation would get better as the show continued but it didn’t. I know that this has already been greenlit for two more seasons but I will for sure be missing it. I watched some reviews praising this series and I was confused by them. I just disagree with everyone saying that this series was good.

Steven Yeun as Mark Grayson/Invincible 

Sandra Oh as Debbie Grayson  

J. K. Simmons as Nolan Grayson

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The Review: Made For Love Season One

Made For Love 8/10

I ended up finishing this show weeks ago and got wrapped up in watching a bunch of other shows so this review is late as hell. The basic premise is a woman leaves her marriage due to the fact that her husband is a controlling lunatic genius that implanted a device in her head so that he can see and hear everything she is doing under the guise of love and being closer. This device is supposed to be so that couples can be more open with each other.

The Review: Falcon And The Winter Soldier S1E5-E6

Falcon And The Winter Soldier 9/10

I finished watching this series a few weeks ago but have been so wrapped up in other things like podcasts (click here for those) and other blogs like Cam and I's Chocket Awards (click here for that). This is gonna be short by the way. I just need to knock a bunch of blogs out for my own record keeping right now. This series should not have been as good as it was. Not that Bucky and Falcon weren't cool or whatever in the films, its just that I didn't expect to like this show as much as I did. This show managed to take side characters and make them main players. Introduce new villains and heroes and something in between for future films. Its pretty damn incredible when you think about it. I am also a spoiled little bitch because this was just six episodes and as soon as it ended I wanted to watch a new Marvel show. I am starved for the shit since I wasn't able to get to the theaters last year. I am excited that so far there have been two incredible series featuring characters with not too much screen time.

The Review: Thunder Force

Thunder Force 6/10

Why did I laugh so much at this movie? I didn't know Thunder Force even existed but L. and I tried that weird Pick For Me option on Netflix and landed on this on the third try. It might have had to do with the fact that we had recently watched a trash ass movie on Amazon. This is about how some cosmic rays ended up giving people with a tendency towards being a sociopath end up getting superpowers. This young, smart girl named Emily whose parents were killed by one of these super-powered beings called Miscreants vows to one day find a way to defeat them. She meets a girl named Lydia who sticks up for her in school and they become friends. Later as they grow up they split since Lydia plays too goddamn much and Emily is focused on studying.

The Review: Without Remorse

Without Remorse 1/10

This movie was terrible. L. and I watched this movie called Without Remorse. It is based off of a book I didn't read which is likely for the better since I cant stop comparing the two when it happens. This movie seemed like something that would've come out in the 80's with either a massive star or as a B-movie. This is a big budget looking movie with a wafer thin plot. A dude does a mission. The mission is shady. Some of his team members get killed. His wife and unborn child get killed. He goes for revenge in the sloppiest ways possible only to get rescued by what could be called acts of god. He was used to hopefully start another Cold War or some shit. It was dumb. At the end of this nonsense they threaten to turn this into a franchise. Please don't. It is a waste of a lot of talented actors and actresses. I'm sure it was fun to film and learn some cool shit. But as a viewer not once did I have fun with this.

Michael B. Jordan as John Kelly

Jamie Bell as Deputy Director Robert Ritter

Jodie Turner-Smith as Lieutenant Commander Karen Greer

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