The Review: War Machine

War Machine 3/10

Damn I wish this movie could have made up its mind. War Machine debuted on Netflix tonight and I was really looking forward to seeing it. It has a great cast with people like Brad Pitt, Anthony Michael Hall, Topher Grace, Tilda Swinton, Ben Kingsley, Keith Stanfield, and Emory Cohen. So many good people but it seemed like this movie couldn't decide if it was a satire or not. It bounced back and forth so many times that when something seemingly funny happened it was jarring compared to what was being said. The best part of this was the first fifteen minutes and the last half hour because it picked a tone and stuck with it. I would love to see two different versions of this. One comedic and the other as a serious war movie because the actual battle, the last half hour, was done really well. This movie just points out the silliness of the wars this country has had in the Middle East. And someone please tell Pitt to stop using that voice from Inglorious Basterds. This was long and disappointing.

Click here for previous The Review.

The Review: Tree Of Life

Tree Of Life 8/10

I checked out the movie Tree Of Life with Evie yesterday. I had heard of this movie but never really wanted to see it. I didn't know what it was about except that some had mentioned the fact that the visuals were nice but I did not hear much about the actual story. Evie explained to me that it was not a linear tale which helped because I kept wanting to ask questions about what was happening and what was about to happen.

The movie stars Brad Pitt as a father that is super strict with his sons. You witness the birth of all three of his boys with the idea that one of them is going to die at some point. The mother played by Jessica Chastain is super sweet to her boys while the father, angry that he never followed his true passion in life to be a musician tends to take out the lack of his dream following on the boys, particularly the oldest. There are also scenes involving Sean Penn as one of the children as an adult regretful of how he treated his father after the death of his brother.

Theater Whore: World War Z

Let me start this off by saying that I had no intentions of seeing this movie. I was gonna watch it way later down the line because as I have written before (click here to read my rant) I was pissed that this movie was even being made. I was mad at the cast, the story, the zombies that run faster than Olympians. Just…everything. So how did I end up watching it in 3D no less?

Me and East sat in the wrong theater.

Now, at The Arclight this was in theater 1. So when we headed in because we were supposed to see Star Trek: Into The Darkness at 11:05 we got our 3D glasses, which were much smaller and way lighter, and say down and talked before the movie. I asked her what the time was and the movie should’ve started two minutes ago. 

So when the usher came in (after giving us the proper eyewear) and did her little speech before the movie she said “World War Z has a run time of…” and I looked at East like “Whaaaaa…?!” She asked the usher what film this was and she repeated herself. We realized we were in the wrong theater. Hey, the way the theater is set up is stupid, okay?! 

This was me when I found out I was in the wrong theater. 

She said we could go to the correct theater but the movie had already started and I hate getting into movies late. So we stayed and I was like “Goddamn it. I am such a hypocrite. I was just bitching about this movie for the past year.” So we sat down and I was prepared to be mad especially after how shitty Iron Man 3 was. 

So Much Hate: World War Z Movie

I’m not one to complain for no reason. I was almost able to say that with a straight face. A few years back I read this book called World War Z. Honestly, I bought it because the cover was awesome totally blowing that whole “not judging a book by its cover” stuff right out of the water. It immediately became one of the best books I’ve ever read in my life. The characters, the stories, the action, the zombies, the war, it was all just incredible writing on Max Brooks’ part. 

I have owned the book three times. Owned is in the past tense because I let someone borrow it and they lost it, another had their child destroy it, and another ruined it. I refuse to buy it again even though when I owned it I read it probably eight times. Its that good of a story.

When I heard that it was purchased to be made I was excited. I imagined a terrific series that could run for at the very least three seasons. There are so many characters and tales that done in a documentary manner it would’ve blown The Walking Dead out of the water. But that isn’t what happened.

It was being made into a film. 

How come why?!

Still, I held judgment. It was in development hell for years which is never a good sign. Multiple rewrites and location changes and shots needed. And then I saw the trailer and lost my fucking shit. If I were more animal than man I would’ve beat my chest, roared, and smeared shit all over my computer screen.