The Review: Okja

Okja 10/10

There will be a lot of spoilers in this. I need to stop saying that and just say don't read movies reviews until after you've watched shit if you are worried about it being ruined. I gave it a 10/10. Watch it. I loved this fucking movie! Okay, I had no idea what this movie was about before I started watching it. Coworker said she could not watch it because of it making you not want to eat meat anymore to which I responded watching Super Size Me and wanting McDonald's and eating a burger while watching Food Inc. You can't stop me from eating meat. I saw a big pig with a city on its back with a little girl and the title Okja. That was the extent of my knowledge of this movie. I was excited to watch it and not even sure why but I am so glad that I did.

The Review: War Machine

War Machine 3/10

Damn I wish this movie could have made up its mind. War Machine debuted on Netflix tonight and I was really looking forward to seeing it. It has a great cast with people like Brad Pitt, Anthony Michael Hall, Topher Grace, Tilda Swinton, Ben Kingsley, Keith Stanfield, and Emory Cohen. So many good people but it seemed like this movie couldn't decide if it was a satire or not. It bounced back and forth so many times that when something seemingly funny happened it was jarring compared to what was being said. The best part of this was the first fifteen minutes and the last half hour because it picked a tone and stuck with it. I would love to see two different versions of this. One comedic and the other as a serious war movie because the actual battle, the last half hour, was done really well. This movie just points out the silliness of the wars this country has had in the Middle East. And someone please tell Pitt to stop using that voice from Inglorious Basterds. This was long and disappointing.

Click here for previous The Review.

Theater Whore: Doctor Strange

Doctor Strange 9/10

There will be some spoilers. I can never claim to be a fan of Doctor Strange. Never bought the comic books but have watched an animated movie and knew his basic story. Some asshole doctor gets into a terrible car accident that ruins his hands and in desperation heads into the mountains to get cured and ends up learning magic instead. That's pretty much what happened in this but so much more. So much more! I didn't give this a 9 out of 10 because I was surprised by how much I loved this movie. I did because this is a cool ass movie and one of my favorites of this year and Marvel movies in general. By the way, I saw this in 3D at the Arclight in Hollywood and I would suggest watching this in 3D if you can. I'm not usually a fan of them but with a movie like this it worked great.

Theater Whore: Only Lovers Left Alive

Only Lovers Left Alive 4/10

So H. and I got a chance to check out Only Lovers Left Alive starring Tom Hiddleston and Tilda Swinton and all's I can say about it is...meh. Which sucks because I was looking forward to this movie since I heard it even existed. I like both of these actors and the director so I was looking forward to seeing the two of them just wrecking shit as vampires. Or being interesting. Neither happened. They look like vampires. They act like them, I guess. They just didn't at any point make me go “Wow, I can't get enough of watching these two together!”

Hiddleston and Swinton star as Adam and Eve...yes. Those are their names. Adam is a reclusive musician who lives in Detroit and seems to not really enjoy technology. Most of his house contains old things or stuff he has put together. He has a helper Ian played by Anton Yelchin. Ian helps Adam get old guitars and equipment. Adam does not drink blood by attacking people, rather he gets it from a hospital by paying cash to a shady doctor.

"Bad Mamma Jamma": Tilda Swinton

This weeks Bad Mamma Jamma is a woman who in one second can seem super vulnerable and helpless and then the next be one of the scariest damned women you’ve ever seen in film. Tilda Swinton is this weeks BMJ! Born Katherine Mathilda Swinton in London, England she has been in tons of films and here in the U.S is known as Cate Blanchett. Come on! I cant be the only person to mix the two of them up! I hope she doesn’t see this because she could probably kick my ass even at the age of 52.

After college she started off in small theaters groups and foreign films before making it big here in films like The Beach, Vanilla Sky, and of course as the Ice Queen in the Chronicle’s Of Narnia films where she was super evil and scary. She beat up lion Jesus and wore his damned fur! How evil is that? Seriously. I need to know. I got a pair of scissors and the L.A Zoo is a bus ride away.