The Review: Polar

Polar 3/10

Spoilers ahead all over the place. This felt rushed. I decided to watch Polar on Netflix because I hoped it would be interesting and also so Netflix would stop shoving it in my face. While watching this I kept on thinking about how it was edited and squinting at the screen. Then as the movie progressed and I was watching how it flowed and such I had to stop and check who directed this because either this was someone's first movie or they were not used to this whole directing thing and needed to work a few kinks out. A mostly music video director. Got it. Now that that was out of my system I felt better about how this just fell apart as it went on. This is about an assassin that is about to retire and collect his assassin pension. Turns out the folks he works for owe a lot of money so they have their killers sign over their shit so when they die the company gets paid. Convoluted. The start of this movie had me gasping with delight watching this woman in a bikini set up Johnny Knoxville before he gets shot a lot. By the way, the women in this movie are fucking beautiful in so many ways. Whatever you are into they got and by you I mean me. There is this Black chick that shows up later and I was like “Uh, I need to know more about her story, please?”

Theater Whore: Doctor Strange

Doctor Strange 9/10

There will be some spoilers. I can never claim to be a fan of Doctor Strange. Never bought the comic books but have watched an animated movie and knew his basic story. Some asshole doctor gets into a terrible car accident that ruins his hands and in desperation heads into the mountains to get cured and ends up learning magic instead. That's pretty much what happened in this but so much more. So much more! I didn't give this a 9 out of 10 because I was surprised by how much I loved this movie. I did because this is a cool ass movie and one of my favorites of this year and Marvel movies in general. By the way, I saw this in 3D at the Arclight in Hollywood and I would suggest watching this in 3D if you can. I'm not usually a fan of them but with a movie like this it worked great.

TV Slut: Hannibal

Yay! New TV show to watch! Yes, I am aware that there are tons of shows on cable that you all love but  haven’t had cable in damn near six years so I watch everything late or at a merciful friends house. I have seen the ads for the new Hannibal series for NBC and I got all kinds of happy and a lot of its due to the fact that Mads Mikkelsen is starring as Dr. Hannibal Lecter. That guy if he wasn’t an actor would surely be on some watch list based just on appearances. I feel the same way about Michael Shannon and Lance Henrikson. 

The reason why I don’t rush to watch most of the shows you all love like The Walking Dead, Sons Of Anarchy, and Breaking Bad is because they are seasons into the series and I hate playing catch up. The last time I did was with Being Human, Sherlock, and Luther. Those are all BBC shows and I was able to low through them quickly since the seasons aren’t 10-12 episodes long. With Hannibal I’m getting in on the ground floor. Ladies lingerie on the second. How did I get here? It doesn’t matter. Just enjoy the view, Susie.

Theater Whore: A Royal Affair

Once again I went to the Sundance Theater up on Sunset. Me and Cam had been meaning to see a movie for a while and she keeps up on all the classy films that get awards unlike me who wants to see things based on how many explosions are in the trailer. Our choices were Flight and A Royal Affair and after watching the trailer for Flight I feel like I’ve seen the film so we chose the latter. So glad that we did since this was really good. I normally hate movies based around time periods where people wore way too many layers.

Too much!

A young girl, Caroline Mathilde, is heading to Denmark to become the new queen of King Christian VII. She has never met him and has heard all these stories of how cultured and handsome he is. She gets there and dude is hiding behind a tree acting like a total weirdo. And by weirdo I mean lunatic. He hates that everyone thinks she is so damned artsy when he is the real talented one. Caroline spends most of her time looking sad even after she has her first kid.

Whoopwhoopwhoopwhoopwhoop!

Elsewhere this guy Johann Friedrich Struensee, who I will just call Ze German from now on because fuck typing that name repeatedly, is brought in as part of a plan to influence this crazy ass king. The king likes him because he knows Shakespeare and everything gets better. The king stops acting as crazy. Yay.