Sunday, February 12, 2012

Characters With Threatability

In any great film there is a scene that makes you go “Whoa.” Sometimes its an explosion, sometimes its fight. And other times its just a speech. I have made a list of some of the best threats in film made by very bad men. Not bad meaning bad but bad meaning good.

Denzel Washington as Alonzo Harris Training Day




Aww, you motherfuckers. Okay. Alright. I'm putting cases on all you bitches. Huh. You think you can do this shit...Jake. You think you can do this to me? You motherfuckers will be playing basketball in Pelican Bay when I get finished with you. SHU program, nigga. 23 hour lockdown. I'm the man up in this piece. You'll never see the light of...who the fuck do you think you're fucking with? I'm the police, I run shit around here. You just live here. Yeah, that's right, you better walk away. Go on and walk away...'cause I'm gonna' burn this motherfucker down. King Kong ain't got shit on me. That's right, that's right. Shit, I don't, fuck. I'm winning anyway, I'm winning...I'm winning any motherfucking way. I can't lose. Yeah, you can shoot me, but you can't kill me.

Why The Quote Rules.




Because he means it. At this point in the movie he’s already had his stolen money stolen, his new trainee is walking away and leaving him to die at the hands of a neighborhood full of gang members, and his woman on the side go indoors abandoning him. What else can you do but be like “Fuck it. I’m gonna tell all of you what is going to happen to you.” They already know how dirty he is and minutes later they let him go. Why? Like I said, he meant every word he said!

R. Lee Ermey as Gunnery Sergeant Hartman Full Metal Jacket




If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human fucking beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit! Because I am hard, you will not like me. But the more you hate me, the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand that?

Why The Quote Rules.




Because nowadays you cant really beat up recruits. You can but you get busted and end up in military prison which doesn’t sound fun at all. But in this movie he chokes recruits, makes recruits choke themselves, sucker punches them in the stomach, and drives one of them into killing himself. I saw this movie when I was little and it made me go “Fuck joining the military.” Fast forward a decade or so and I’m enlisted. No basic training though because I know I would’ve been less Joker and more Gomer Pyle.

Tom Cruise as Les Grossman Tropic Thunder




First, take a big step back...and literally, fuck your own face! I don't know what kind of pan-pacific bullshit power play you're trying to pull here, but Asia Jack is my territory. So whatever you're thinking, you'd better think again! Otherwise I'm gonna have to head down there and I will rain down in a Godly fucking firestorm upon you! You're gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you. I'm talking about a scorched earth, motherfucker! I will massacre you! I will fuck you up!

Why The Quote Rules.




Because even though he never punches anyone you believe that with enough caffeine and the opportunity that he would do everything he just threatened to do. He even has a guy punch the director during a meeting via satellite. When you can scare an armed drug making kidnapper that is thousands of miles away you know you’re doing something very right.

Liam Neeson as Bryan Mills Taken




I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

Why The Threat Rules.




Have you seen this movie?! This guy does not say anything that he will not immediately do. His daughter gets kidnapped and he goes across the globe to find the assholes who did it. The worst mistake the guy made was saying “Good luck” to him. Oh, you done goofed now! He even heads to a friends house that is somehow tied to these guys and while sitting down for a nice meal shoots his friends wife to get information. My father wouldn’t even grab a soda for me from the other room let alone pull this kinda shit!

Clive Owen as Dwight Sin City




I'm Shellie's new boyfriend and I'm out of my mind. If you so much as talk to her or even think her name, I'll cut you in ways that'll make you useless to a woman.

Why The Threat Rules.




If you’ve read any of the Sin City graphic novels you know that Dwight really has lost his mind. After having everything fall apart he gets plastic surgery from hookers and tries to get back at the people who fucked him over. When Shellie’s kinda ex boyfriend shows up with all his drunk friends and starts smacking her around Dwight just waits until he has to take a piss, holds a razor to his throat, and dunks his head in an unflushed toilet.

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