Insert Coin: Operation Wolf

“The object of the game is to rescue the five hostages in the concentration camp. The game is divided into six stages: Communication Setup, Jungle, Village, Powder Magazine, Concentration Camp, and Airport. Completion of each stage advances the story. For example, upon completing the Jungle stage, an enemy leader is interrogated and the location of the enemy's concentration camp is found. This was one of the first shooter games to feature a storyline, and it had some similarities to real special operations missions.”

Back in the day there weren’t a lot of games that featured a real looking gun. Operation: Wolf was not that game. This one, when played at an arcade, had a real looking uzi. Oh, I wish I could play it now. Sure, it is available on the NES but who the hell really thinks that replacing a black realistic gun with a grey and orange/controller combo is cool?

"Kill kill kill kill...kill! Yeah!!!" - James Hetfield.

This was one of the first games to have consequences. In other shooting games if you hit hostages it was like “Whoops!” or “Next time move faster, sucka!” and you moved on to the next level without a care in the world. Not with this game. If you kept lobbing grenades at hostages--one second. I fucking love that term. Lobbing. Okay. If you kept killing hostages you lost points and got yelled at.

You'd have to try not to see that orange parachute coming down.

As fun as this game was it would be terrifying in real life. Imagine you were on a Spike Lee style platform that pulled you sideways through the world. A world where hostages ran out into gunfire waving their arms in the air, helicopters shot at you, and soldiers were firing at your ass. And you know who the bad guys are because they rock porn mustaches.

"I hear your pipes need...uncloggin'."

In games like shoot ‘em ups you would get hit and blink away and continue. This one showed your ass “Dude, you are about to die so…yeah.” Do you know what effect that has on a child?! None. Because just like in real life you just pop a quarter into your wound and keep on going. What? That doesn’t work when you try it? Ha. Loser.

"Quick! Insert a coin...!"

As fun as this game was it tended to get rather chaotic when you got to the later levels. How can you, as one guy, be sent on a mission this goddamn dangerous? Its not like you have to rescue one person and then come back to base. You have to go to five different places and shoot hundreds of enemies. Those damned jungle chickens don’t help. Yes. There are wild chickens that distract you. And don’t let this game fool you. Shooting a grenade will not make a working one appear in your pocket. Sadly.