Dionne Warwick! Kevin Costner! Bobby Brown…maybe! Hey everyone, its Whitney Houston’s funer--huh? “Home Going“? What the hell is that? That’s something Black people do? I’m a Blacker and have never heard of this. Oh, by the way Whitney died last week. Oh, and the penis from that Kim Kardashian porno called Ray J was there too.
And in case you didn’t know the room that she died in is booked for the foreseeable future. So if you planned on having a nice evening sleeping in the same room she died in make other plans.
Gabriel Aubry, the ex and baby daddy of Halle Berry, will not be criminally charged for shoving the nanny while she held their child. Oh, that justice system is so wacky!
Robin Thicke was arrested for pot possession in New York. Hey, citizens of Earth! There is officially nothing left to fight over! We have achieved world peace! When this guy can be arrested for pot we must have nothing else to be concerned with.
Nick Cannon aka Mr. Mariah Carrey had to retire from his radio show and cut down on working because of his jacked up lungs. I had no idea he was working.
Terrance “Woman Beater” Howard is pissed that he cant get anymore roles since, you know, beating the fuck out of his woman. When his beautiful green eyes cry it reminds me of Christmas.
Chris Brown was at Rihanna’s birthday par--wait. What?! But didn’t he…? And didn’t she…?
Singer Adele has an alleged sex tape. Oh, god no. No. No!!!
And for no reason Michelle Williams!
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