DVDiculous: Justice League Doom

Once again DC knocks it out the damned park with their animated films! I saw the trailer for Justice League: Doom last year and was so damned excited. It wasn’t the Legion Of Doom from when I was little that was all super cheesy. These guys (and gals) were like “We are gonna wreck shit and wreck it well!” And, by god, they so did. The wrecked everyone so damned hard. I should probably describe the story.

Batman finds the Royal Flush Gang robbing a vault and using technology that is way out of their league. Superman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, Martian Manhunter, and Flash all show up and whip their asses. Oh, and Cyborg is there because Batman’s all like “This kid has potential.” Speaking of Batman, he is all banged up and refuses help from the League and heads home.

When he gets to the Bat Cave trusty Alfred is like “Dude, you need to rest.” Batman doesn’t know it but Mirror Master snuck in the rearview mirror of The Batmobile and hacks his computer system. Next thing you know Bane is walking through a swamp and has to whip an alligators ass. Star Sapphire shows up as well as Cheetah, Metallo, and Ma’alefa’ak whose name I refuse to type up again. The Legion Of Doom base rises and they enter.

Vandal Savage offers each of them ten million to fight their respective foes. They don’t get why he’d pay for something they do all the time badly. He explains that he has a plan to destroy two thirds of the planets population. Oh, and the thing that was hacked in the Bat Cave? Nothing. Just the files on how to take out every single Justice League member.

Bane shows up at Wayne manner and beats the hell out of Batman and buries him alive in his parents coffin with their corpses still inside! Superman has to help a suicidal man who turns out to be Metallo in disguise who shoots him with a Kryptonite bullet. Wonder Woman is infected with nano-bots that make everyone look like Cheetah. Green Lantern fails at saving a woman and loses his will to continue. Flash has a bomb jammed through his wrist and it will blow up if he stops running. And worse of all Martian Manhunter drinks something that makes him sweat a fuel and he is set on fire which burns continuously.

Now to explain why this is bad. Batman has to punch his way out of a coffin while staring at his parents corpse which will wreck any human. Superman--do you really need me to explain why a Kryptonite bullet is bad? Flash will blow up anything within three miles if he stops running.

Green Lantern’s ring is powered off of will. Martian Manhunter’s weakness is fire. Wonder Woman will continue to fight until she dies. Cyborg saves her (and has his arm ripped off) and Batman informs them all that he created the plans to defeat every member of the team.

Now, this doesn’t go over well. Its pretty honked up that Batman has a way to take out each of his teammates. Vandal Savage lets his team know that he cant die and that the money he is giving his team will be worthless but that he will give them control over society. They’re cool with that. He tries to launch his missile and the League show up and try to stop him.

This movie was awesome. I never thought that Cyborg could be cool or that Mirror Master could be dangerous. Yeah, he was using Batman’s plans that were stolen by Savage but whatever. It was still great. They squeezed so much information about each character and their motivation for wanting to defeat each other. I never thought Cheetah was dangerous until now. If you can check this out do so as soon as possible.