Facebook Discussion About New Robocop

This is a discussion from my Facebook page that was started because of the post I did about how cool the new Robocop looks. Read and enjoy the nonsense.

Quinno: Agreed. LOL @ hit a corner at a brisk pace. "Its funny cause its true."

Dante: You could actually dance in circles around him as he cried Robotears.

Trixie: FYI I am not a "neo-nerd" and I think the Robocop costume is stupid! It's DUMB!
I also watched Wonder Woman first run, hate Chris Pine, and have the Ramones on my iPod.
COME AT ME BRO!

Quinno: And to back up the "brisk pace" theory, I give u The scene in Robocop 3 where he fights the Ninja Terminator. Enjoy.

Dante: Why is Robocop just standing there like an idiot! He is breaking him down like molecules!

Trixie: Ha! Really Robocop is supposed to be like the Terminator, an unrelenting panzer. He's not supposed to be swift or sleek and he's not supposed to be matte black! Robots are SHINY!

Dante: They also resort to shooting someone's face off because they can move more than 2mph.

Trixie: Hey, Robocop don't need to move fast! He can shoot a guy's balls between a woman's legs through her skirt!

Quinno: LMMFAO@shootin between legs. (again) "It's funny cause it's true."

Dante: Yeah, and THATS not reckless whatsoever! He could've shot her pubes off with that nonsense. You cant train a cp to shoot someone's dick off.

Trixie: He's not a cop, he's ROBOCOP! He has pinpoint accuracy.

Dante: When you hold still. That ninja only got killed because he started moving slow. He could have dodged him all night. If you snuck up on Robocop you could tip him like a cow.

Trixie: Your argument about him being slow doesn't validate his ugly ass costume that looks like a Halo reject. He could be fast and shiny and silver. This is not about how fast he is, this is about how STUPID he looks, like he's in some space armor and not a robot.

Quinno: Robo-target practice.

Trixie: Don't show that to my city's mayor. He'll build a fleet of them from his own personal fortune to regulate smoking, trans fats and big gulps.

Quinno: I like the look of the new get-up. Just wish it was silver, instead of black.

Trixie: My issue is it doesn't look robot-y. I like that the original Robocop had obvious points of articulation and he looked pieced together, as much as 80s technology and SFX could make him look. The new one looks too human.

Quinno: Trixie: I see what u mean.

Dante: Yeah, because he needs to look and sound like Tick-Tock from Return to Oz. If you want a cop that’s just good at shooting things, allow me to introduce the LAPD! You don’t need a slow ass cop whirring like a defective blender protecting a city. You need something sleek, dark, and dangerous. No, not me. As for that clip with him shooting at the dude smoking, that’s just terrible ass programming! That is not an appropriate response! Look at the citizens running for their lives because Metal Man whipped out his piece!

Trixie: Not everything needs to be dark and dangerous. There can be shiny fun.

Dante: Because that’s what I want in law enforcement. We already have police that make us laugh. They're called bike cops.

Trixie: Now you're picking apart plot, not visual design. Terminators are shiny.

Dante: Visually the new one looks cooler and more efficient. He could actually hide if he needed to. The other one looks like a walking flashlight. The face guard looks cooler. As for the Terminators, yes, they are shiny and then they went "This is ridiculous" and covered themselves with fake skin meat.

Trixie: Pshh. You talk about "neonerds" yet you're among the "grit nerds" who think something can't be cool unless it's dark and moody. Ex: Spiderman. Also, he's a cop, not special forces. There's no reason for him to hide. Last time I checked cops like to make their presence know with bull horns, flashy lights and sirens. He has no need to be stealth. He's not a Navy Seal.

Dante: Whaaa?! Just because new Robocop makes the older one look like a Zima can doesn’t mean I want everything dark and gritty. But it does help in certain situation. Bale Batman grit beats Schumacher. And I never wanted Spiderman to be dark. My main complaint is that he hasn’t been funny enough or lighter. Yes, cops make their presence known, but there are times when they have to not be loud as all hell. Sometimes they need to duck for cover or sneak up on someone.

Trixie: Tim Burton > Bale. Uniformed cops don't sneak up on people unless its on TV

Dan: The Ramones friggin rock, Sorry bub,

Dante: I like them as people. They are interesting dudes. Just don’t like their music.

Dan: Robocop, like a lot of Verhoeven stuff, cannot be remade because a lot of the underlying story and tension were very specific to the time period and what everyone was thinking at the time, kind of like Starship Troopers. You have to lose the essence of what made Robocop so cool back then in order for him to have any impact now.

The fact that this was pre internet is really important because the concept of multiple identities mingling in an artificial environment freaked people out. The big Frankenstein monster part of the story (where his humanity as well as the audience is horrified by its subjugation to some 'technology'). It's the internet era now. The computer is almost like an extension of our brain, so the horror within the character no longer exists like it did then.

Dante: I'll wait and see where they take the character. I like the design and the cast so far.

Dan: The action part of the story was also important because this was a time when no computer could even touch a man as far as competition and everyone was afraid that computers would make humanity obsolete. Now, we've been beaten left and right by them but are cool with it and temporarily have the confidence that technology won't surpass us and will still be our slaves instead of our masters. I mean, the feeling is still there, but everyone seems cooler with it now. Robocop was showing that computers even after technology tries to dominate us will somehow be beaten by our humanity because tech is always flawed. Take all that out, the story becomes thinner and thinner and Robocop basically become Robobatman, which ain't bad, but meh.

There was also the whole government versus privatization thing in the movie because of Reagan. That whole thread is also basically dead as well. Now, even the Dems are like, "yeah big gov is bad" etc.

So in summary, this cannot be Robocop. It is another superhero movie trying to capitalize on the branding, but doesn't really bear a relation to the original. This film could have been any number of superheroes in this role, It was just an aesthetic choice, not a story choice. If they're going to remake Peter Weller movies, they should do Buckaroo Banzai.

Dante: Or Leviathan. Which I think would be a cool boys name. He was just in Dragon Eyes which was a far better film than anticipated.

Dan: Damn, I thought he retired to be a professor or something

Dante: Oh, no. He's done something every year pretty much since I was a toddler. He was on Dexter a couple years back. "In 2004, Weller completed a Master's degree in Roman and Renaissance Art at Syracuse University and occasionally teaches courses in ancient history at the university. In 2007, Weller was finishing a Ph.D. at UCLA, in Italian Renaissance art history. He expects to complete his dissertation in 2012."

Dan: Okay, he's kicked our asses in many ways!!! He's a fucking demigod.

Dante: Holy shit! I just read he is the voice of Batman in an upcoming animated Dark Knight Returns based off of Frank Miller's graphic novel. That is gonna be amazing.

Dan: Tom Cruise was Maverick and jumped on a couch, Peter Weller was Robocop and got a doctorate. Tom Cruise - epic fail.

Dante: You're trying to get the Xenu people up my ass?! I'm still a fan of Tom Cruise. Like, the stuff he has put out since the 90's. Not all. But a lot.

Dan: Dude, I am not going to comment on that statement, but you really need help. They have medicine for people like you.

Dante: Jack Daniel's isn't a medicine.

Dan: Tom Cruise was basically Maverick for EVERY role he played! I couldn't resist. He's Keanu Reeves but without the ability to do accents as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(moments later)

Dan: I'll stop, really.

Dante: He was awesome in Magnolia. And Tropic Thunder. Dude, he's Ethan Hunt!

Dan: Okay, I'll give you Tropic Thunder.