Nothing But Gossip March 25th 2014

At a recent concert Miley Cyrus took a big swig of water from her bottle and spit it into the crowd a few times. Fuck. That. If a drop of anything from her petri dish of a mouth landed on me that part would have to be burned or cut off. Ugh!

Anita Baker had a warrant out for her arrest for not responding to court papers for her to appear in court. Now a judge has put a stop to it and I am mad. Her voice makes me hate.

Chris Brown is still locked up in jail for violating his probation. He broke rehab rules by touching women there (remember, he is there because he beat the fuck out of Rihanna) and bragging about his knife and gun skills. Oh, he also said rehab is stupid during group therapy. He is supposed to be in jail for a few more weeks and allegedly now wants to cut a deal with the guy he beat in Washington. I recall him saying that he didn't do that.

Speaking of CB, his side piece Karrueche (Kuh-Row-Chee) Tran refuses to talk shit about him. Good for her.

Mick Jagger's girlfriend for years L'Wren Scott hung herself. She was 47. No explanation has been given as to why she did it.

This is the last time I'm gonna write about Chief Keef. This jackass was arrested for DUI two weeks after getting out of rehab for smoking weed and posting pictures of himself smoking it after he got out. He is now 18 and had his first kid when he was 16, just like his mama did with him.

That photographer that Kanye West roughed up is still gonna try and get some justice from him. Kanye got a plea deal where he has to take anger management and such but this guy Daniel Ramos wants him punished more. He is not taking money. Let it go, man. Like your camera.

Kate Major, girlfriend of Michael Lohan, was busted for a DUI and was crying her ass off. Watching her try to say the alphabet is fun. I have tried sober and can't do the shit. She blew a .243. How was she still standing?!

Charlie Sheen is at it again! He is pissed at Denise Richards and is cutting off her child support and house payments after she spoke out against his other baby mama Brooke Mueller who you'll recall Charlie was all about hating just a minute ago. He still plans to marry this current chick he is with.

Rapper(?) Mase and his wife Twyla Betha have filed for divorce even though they make money trying to tell folks how to stay together for life. They have been married for 12 years.

Stacy Keibler announced that she is pregnant. If you don't recognize her name, she was George Clooney's last girlfriend before his new one. I know her from wrestling. Time to fly the penises at half staff once again...

It's so hard to say goodbye.

Kevin Connolly broke his leg on the set of the Entourage movie. This is god's way of saying stop it. Seriously, that movie should have come out like seven years ago.

Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church died last week. If you didn't do a silent fist pump when you heard this news you don't know who he is and what he did or you're a bad person.

Olympic skater Johnny Weir and his man are divorcing after just a few years of marriage. Victor Voronov says that Johnny was cheating and sexting with a porn star. He wants a bunch of expensive clothes, legal fees paid. And their little dog, too! He also says that Johnny forced him out of the closet to help create a good reality show. Johnny says that Victor used to hit him. Ooh, its gettin' saucy all up in here!

Paula Patton still refuses to take Robin Thicke back after his multiple cheating and nasty ass ways. I don't think I care anymore. Now its just annoying. He should just continue to bang everything and she can run around making films no one wants to see unless she is topless.

After his third DUI in three years David Cassidy was ordered to spend 90 days in rehab. Come on, get happy! I hope that's the right show.

Actor James Rebhorn died after years of battling skin cancer. If you don't know his name you'll know his face. Dude was in everything but your wedding photos. He was last starring in Homeland. He was 65.

Justin Bieber got a tattoo while on a plane because fuck clear thinking. He got the word “Forgive” on his belly and said “Forgiveness is powerful, forgive as Jesus died on the cross to forgive our sins.” Jesus never turned water into Sizzurp.

A 20 year old dude that apparently was very funky (smell wise, not, like in a way that he danced and dressed well) for getting onto the Kardashian's property and looking through the windows. He was placed on 5150 hold and hopefully bathed Rambo style.

Judge Joe Brown was arrested and sent to jail for contempt of court during a hearing where he was representing someone during a child support hearing. The court was like “Who are you even talking about?” and he lost his shit. Brown is currently running for D.A in Memphis.

Early candidate for mugshot of the year.

Actor Columbus Short from that show Scandal I refuse to watch because Kerry Washington's lips bother me is in trouble for sucker punching a guy at a bar for insulting him. He is now being investigated for criminal battery. Some people find ways to lose. He was also in trouble four years back for punching a guy and knocking his teeth out at a gym.

Shaq is in trouble for punching a guy in Atlanta. Shaq says they were just playing. Its hard to play punch someone when your hands are the size of canned hams.

I'm not even close to being a fan of Ray J, but this time I am on his side. Some chick is all mad about him going in on her saying on his Twitter “I usually don't go this hard but...This chick look exactly like a character on Planet of the Apes.” Now, before you get mad that a famous person is attacking some irrelevant human she was someone who went to his Instagram account just to talk shit to him. “Ray J you are irrelavant. Why dont you stop worry about Kim Kardashian. Why dont you talk about you being gay.” I'm glad he got her. Plus the shit is true. I laughed my ass off at her picture. Because I'm a dick.

Vivid Entertainment has offered Joan Rivers $100,000 to make a sex tape after she filmed a spoof one with Ray J. Pardon me while I violently vomit all over everything.

Jerry Springer learned that the term tranny was offensive so he has decided to stop using it and find another way to describe chicks with dicks.

Jennifer Tilly says that most people in Hollywood cheat. I'd say most people in the world. If you aren't sure if you have been, you have been. Here she is playing poker, like she do, as if anyone can concentrate!

Madonna said this. “Long hair...... Don't Care!!!!!! #artforfreedom #rebelheart #revolutionoflove.”

Then she did this.

FUCK!!!

Speaking of women screaming for attention, Lady Gaga says that she is submissive with her man. He'd be single if you ask me, especially after that little vomit stunt she pulled. Nasty ass.

Mila Kunis is pregnant with Ashton Kutcher's baby because making logical decisions in life is so 2007.

And I would be remiss of I didn't post an image of the Kim and Kanye Vogue cover which has people canceling their subscriptions. The thing is, no one respects him as a fashion designer and she sells her shit at Sears. So...yeah.

Then this happened.