The Review: Jessica Jones Season 2

Jessica Jones Season Two 1/10

This will be full of spoilers so if you have not watched this season or do not even care about spoilers then keep on reading. This is going to be a combination of The Review, You Had One Job, and 10 Reasons because I can't just write a review of this without it being full of complaints about this alleged hero series. Let me state that I loved the first season (click here to check that review out) and did not expect to. It did everything right and was super compelling. This second season is nothing like the first one in any way. Full disclosure: I am gonna shit all over this show. You may have watched this and loved it. You're allowed to do that, humans.

Jessica Jones Is A Killer. There are points in a characters story where they do something and there is no going back. No matter how cool Dexter was if he started an episode with a puppy Saran Wrapped to his table you'd stop watching the show or write a strongly worded email. When Jones killed The Purple Man in season one I did not bat an eye. He needed to die because he was dangerous as fuck and had superpowers. This season she killed a cop, a dirty as fuck one, by accident and did not turn herself in or feel bad about it. Okay, she did feel bad but not “Holy shit I murdered a man!” bad. Here what happened. She is pepper sprayed by a cop in his home that she entered illegally and starts flailing around like she has never been in a fight and ends up kicking his head in and setting it up as if he killed himself over guilt for killing inmates. I'm not saying that this guy deserves justice, just that Jessica is not a hero. She is exactly what people who hate her say she is. A killer.

And what exactly are her powers? I know she is fast, strong, and thought she was kinda indestructible. But in this season I saw a car that I could have caught up with get away from her multiple times, regular ass bullets hurt her, and watched her grimace opening a lock but not flinching when ripping car doors off their hinges. Seriously, what the fuck are the limits to her powers? You can survive sex with Luke Cage at full strength but a cops baton can damn near cripple you? It doesn't make sense and is inconsistent as fuck. She pushes everyone away from her, they come back, she pushes them away until they do something stupid and needs her help, she helps them, then she pushes them away, they help her, she pushes them away. This is the show. And sometimes she helps her murdering ass mother escape. Speaking of which.

Mama Issues. In this season Jones' mother is played by Janet McTeer. Turns out that she did not die in the car wreck that killed her entire family but instead was experimented on by this guy who also gave Jessica her powers. Mom recovers but is crazy as fuck and twice as powerful as Jessica. Jessica knows she is dangerous but does not recognize her mother even when she is sitting right across the table from her. If my kindergarten teacher walked into the room I would say “Holy shit, Mrs. Geizer!” But not Jessica. No recollection of her mom. Maybe it's because her hair is different?

I get her wanting to have her mother back. She tries to reason with her and it does not work and her mother ends up killing more people. Anything can set this lady off and Jessica for some stupid fucking reason keeps pushing her buttons. She even brings her back to her place! Why would you throw a stick of dynamite into a room of lit candles?! This is just one of the many stupid things she does with her mother. It wasn't sweet, deep, or emotional. Her mother acted like an abused animal that needed to be put down because it bit way too many people and Jessica's response was “Let's run away from the law...sorta!” And don't get me started on how her mom escaped prison. I'll just say if you are a Black woman on this show you are going to get personally fucked up.

Poor Malcolm. Malcolm is the recovering drug addict that works with Jessica at her Alias private investigation agency. He wakes her up every morning, gets her a Red Bull, sets meetings for potential clients, and puts up with her bullshit just so she can play-fire him every day. He also repairs damage to the office. What does she do? Treats him like shit. He lets her know that keeping busy helps with his recovery so she tells him to do little to nothing and rags on him for using a fuck app instead of drugs. Fuck whoever you want but don't get mad at someone for doing the same. Meanwhile she bangs anyone she wants and drinks constantly. I barely ever saw her put food in her mouth. Malcolm gets the shit end of the stick this entire season and I just wanted him to get as far from Jessica as possible which he does then comes back over and over. 

When he gets entangled with Jessica's sister shit gets even worse for him. She starts dragging him into her own drug issues and puts his life in danger at others hands and her own. She fucking bonks him on the head and locks him in a trunk because she wants superpowers! What the fuck is going on with this show?! Everyone is dumb. I was so happy when he moved onto another agency and job where he will get treated with more respect.

Jeri Hogarth Is A Predator. I am not hating on someone wanting to have the sex. Not at all. But, holy shit, this woman fucks every lady that enters her home not named Jessica Jones. Thank god they changed this character from a guy to a woman in this series otherwise people would be protesting this character. Call girls, recovering drug addicts, yoga instructors. You name it she wants it. The only women in her world are ones she wants to sleep with or ones that annoy her. And then she has the nerve to come at a closeted gay man and tell him he needs to come out. This season her character is dying and she wants to use someone who has powers to save her life and will do anything to get his help including all kinds of illegal shit. When she finds out that he is fake she has him murdered and even supplies the gun.

While her character was the most interesting in that terrible Iron Fist show it seems like this current season was an exercise in removing any goodwill previous shows have set up. I'm not even sure why she was so heavy in this season. I liked her more as a background character but this season seemed to think that everyone deserved equal screen time so it felt like no one was handled properly. If you were evil you were super evil, if you were naive you were super naive, if you were stupid you felt right at home because this entire season was people doing dumb shit constantly.

Flashbacks Done Wrong. There is an episode that is a flashback and I didn't realize it was until about halfway through. I was like “Jessica got a haircut in the middle of all this shit going on?” Would have helped if they got different people to play their characters ten years younger but I guess that was not important. This shows how fucked up on drugs Trish was and how Jessica had a secret guardian angel in her mother that she did not know about. Yay?

Jessica is dating this guy that wants to open a club and she steals shit for the both of them and one day some guys that her dude owes money to show up wanting their money. They find out Jessica is strong and wants to use her for crime. Her boyfriend agrees and her mom hears and ends up bashing his brains against a wall killing him. Then the flashback ends, Jessica punches her mom, and this doctor drugs Jessica. The end. This episode did nothing but make everyone somehow even look worse than this season already had. Jessica this entire time has gone from a tough, powerful woman to a petulant child. Oh, she is now with the new building super who should be trying to stay as far away from her as possible but is not.

Trish Is An Idiot. Okay. I get it. People want to be famous. She was a child star that faded, then in flashbacks was shown to be a pop star, and now she is putting the lives of everyone in danger so she can stay relevant and become a famous reporter. She starts dating a guy that proposes to her and realizes she just wants his career and not him. She wants to be strong like Jessica so she starts taking this inhaler she got that makes her better as a human being but becomes addicted to it because she is a recovering addict. She gives some to Malcolm, also a recovering addict, who freaks the fuck out realizing what he has just done. Then she fucks Malcolm. Then she treats him like shit. Then she uses Malcolm and they kidnap a doctor so she can get powers. She knocks out Malcolm an throws him into the trunk and even shoots at him. What the fuck is going on?!

For those that do not know she becomes a superhero in the comics and there is some alluding to it in this season. She should not get powers! She is one of the last people I would want to see walking the city with the ability to harm others with powers but they are already setting that shit up. Her entire story is a train wreck that was just aggravating to watch. Everything she did was reckless and stupid. She makes me hope there is no third season.

A Friendly Reminder. In case you forgot how great of a villain David Tennant as The Purple Man was he returns as a figment of Jessica's imagination after she murders that cop. Every moment he is on the screen improves the show and simultaneously makes everyone else look like shit. He reminded me that this season did not have a compelling villain. The villain this season was logic. If someone should not have done something they would be sure to do it harder. If someone should say something or ask for help they wouldn't and the cycle would continue.

I'm coming down harder on this season because the first season was so good and this show can not afford to put out shit like this. Luke Cage was good, the first season of Daredevil was good, the second season was half good, Iron Fist was hot garbage, Defenders was bullshit, Punisher was awesome, and this show was a waste of time. This is not a good average. There is no bubble that people keep talking about with superhero movies and shows. Just ones that are shit and ones that are not. The fact that all these shows I just mentioned are connected means that there can be no weak links and right now Iron Fist and sadly Jessica Jones are it.

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