Theater Whore: The Purge Election Year

The Purge Election Year 5/10

This will have spoilers. So close! They were so close to making a good Purge movie out of the three films so far (click here for the first and here for the second). The Purge Election Year is the most coherent of these films so far and I am hoping that by a fifth one they get their shit together and make something I can cheer for. They were smarter this time focusing on two groups of people coming together instead of a bunch of assholes that deserve to get purged in the first place. This starts off with a chick named Charlie Roan played by Elizabeth Mitchell being taunted by this terribly voiced assclown saying one of them will survive his purge. Eighteen years later she is running for President and blowing up the spot saying how the Purge is just a reason to kill poor people. Leo Barnes played by Frank Grillo is back and this time he is protecting her before the Purge. He's got her in a place on lock down because fuck it let's always wait for the last second, right?

My Song Of The Week: Nights In Hollywood

I have made close to 200 songs but never just post them on here even though for the past year I have thought about it. I put some on Soundcloud but for the most part keep the to myself. I am going to start posting one a week for anyone to check out. This one is called “Nights In Hollywood” and it is a version of “Hollywood Nights” by Bob Seger. I used some hip hop beats, some dubstep, and other random stuff. This is at 150 bpm. 

The Review: Stranger Things

Stranger Things 3/10

Spoilers ahead. I finally forced myself to finish watching the new Netflix series Stranger Things. Yeah. You see where this is headed. I heard about how good this show was and the trailer was pretty cool looking. Everyone was talking about this show and I figured I'd check it out. I started a week ago and after five episodes had to take a break because I was just not enjoying it. I finished it today and had the same feeling I did throughout the season.

Theater Whore: Suicide Squad

Suicide Squad 3/10

This will have some spoilers. So I did it. I said I wouldn't see this movie (click here and here for those posts) and I did because I like to take one for the team sometimes. Suicide Squad is a movie no one asked to be made and it was so we have to deal with all of the whack posters, commercials, and bitching about how a directors cut is far better than what we're seeing in theaters. Hey. For sure that isn't a good defense. No one should be allowed to hold onto good material saying it makes the film better. Just release a good film. They didn't. This movie made me feel the same way Star Trek did after watching it. I was just like “Well, that was definitely filmed.”

What I kept hearing people talk about the most regarding this movie was how good Will Smith was as Deadshot, Margot Robbie was as Harley Quinn, and the soundtrack. I agree with one of those. Smith was good as Deadshot and if that was its own movie I would watch it because he made that character so interesting that everyone else seemed like ass by comparison. “Oh, you throw boomerangs? You have crocodile skin? You got a sword with your husbands soul in it? You're a six thousand year old witch? That sounds neat. I'm a dude good at shooting shit and I am far more interesting than any of you.” He doesn't always wear the mask but its fine because it looks kinda dumb in real life.

Theater Whore: Star Trek Beyond

Star Trek Beyond 5/10

This is so odd. I watched Star Trek Beyond despite not being a fan of the previous two films and it was mostly because I heard so much good about it. I was not in a rush to see this and was happy to wait for it to be on Amazon or something. So I watched it and while it is better than the last ones its still not great. The Enterprise once again gets attacked and destroyed by some bad guy that wants revenge for the wrong reason. Lots of crew get killed, they land on another planet where they figure out how to save themselves, and the end. This was not a bad film but ten minutes after I watched it I just asked myself “What was that about?” In each of these new films I like the beginning where they seem to be exploring or having fun on an alien planet and then it becomes explosion fest. This film is 90% fighting.

Click here for previous Theater Whore.

Theater Whore Jason Bourne

Jason Bourne 7/10

Last week me and Mala went to see Jason Bourne after filling our bodies with delicious bacon at Grub. This was a surprise trip to the theater because though I wanted to see this I wasn't expecting to opening day. It was early in the afternoon and I was surprised by how many people were in the theater. I am a huge fan of the Bourne films...except for that Jeremy Renner one which I haven't heard anyone say they enjoyed. I mean, seriously. That movie was a box of ass.

This takes place after the last time Matt Damon played Bourne. He spends his time punching people in the face and getting his ass kicked. I think he does it for cash. I don't recall seeing money change hands. Nicky Parsons played by Julia Stiles aka My 20 Year Crush shows up in Iceland still on the run from those Treadstone folks and hacks into their system. They find out that she stole some very sensitive information that will reveal some things to Bourne that would make him snap and kill all of their asses.