Episode
5 “It Came From Michoacán”
Another
episode another hour of me gasping and being in shock. Sometimes in
shock because I am grossed out. I'll get to that soon enough and if
you have seen the episode you can probably guess why. So Marty is
back at home and everything is back to normal and that is creepy.
Marty just got back from being tortured and Wendy wakes to him making
breakfast for the family and telling the kids about what happened to
him like it was a trip to the store. Wendy is worried about him but
he is like “Ah, we got things to take care of. Don't worry about
me. I am fine.” Crazy ass. He tells her that when he was faced with
death he did not do what he thought he would. Likely meaning pee and
cry. Wendy gets a call from Navarro and asks what happened and
Navarro says he now knows who Marty is and he is just like him and
wants to win. Huh. That sounds bad.
Marty
heads to work and that FBI agent Maya is concerned since he just got
back from being tortured and he says he was in Kansas City. He also
tells her he don't want her nowhere near his family again and tosses
the business card she gave Wendy. Navarro tells Wendy to get a horse
farm and as soon as I heard that I thought “A horse about to die.”
Marty tells Wendy and Helen about his plan to turn agent Maya because
he knows about her past and how she is a crusader.
Wendy
heads to court against Darlene to get the baby Zeke from her. Darlene
brings in her surprise witness Wyatt. He says that Darlene is a great
mother and that Wendy struck first. He also brings up how Wendy left
a possum in his yard once (that was like first season). Darlene keeps
the baby and back home she thanks Wyatt...with sex! They start
hugging, then smooching, and next thing you know boning down. I was
shook. Not because she is like 40 years older than him. Whatever. It
is because it is insane ass husband murdering heroin growing Darlene.
That boy is gonna have to sleep with one eye open. Hell, don't even
blink.
Marty
heads back to work to implement his plan against agent Maya. She is
like “Bitch please, you can't give me another case thinking you are
helping and not going to jail.” In the weird romance between Ruth
and Ben he comes to her aid after a prank by one of the fire
starters, Tommy. He locks her in the back of a truck and drops her
off. Ben gets her and they have lunch as they watch birds shit all
over Cosgrove Jr's car. At the horse farm some guys show up and cut
the balls off a horse. Turns out it was owned by a rival of
Navarro's. Wendy gets his new number from Helen and tries to talk
that shit to Navarro and he is like “I don't listen to you. I own
you!” She stands there like “Oh...fuck.”
Oh,
the kids. Helen's daughter is into Tommy who tries sneaking around
the Byrde's house and almost gets into it with Jonah. Charlotte lies
saying her dad said to stay away from Helen's stupid ass daughter or
he will tell Tommy's boss Cosgrove Sr. Marty ends up heading to agent
Maya's hotel and confessing that he was in Mexico. I was mad that she
opened her door without checking who was there. Like, really? This
was a good episode and thankfully not as insane as previous ones. It
was really good but spared me from as many shocks as previous ones.
Seeing as how I am just halfway through that is not a good sign. This
show is nuts.
Episode
6 “Su Casa Es Mi Casa”
I
swear this episode laughed at me for how much calmer I thought the
last one was. Marty and Wendy are sitting in therapy and the shit is
getting heated when finally the therapist can't take this shit
anymore and is like “You know what makes marriage difficult? When
both of y'all are bribing me.” Marty just puts his head in his
hands. Wendy says she only did it once. Marty tells Wendy that he's
been tapping her phone and listening to her talk to Navarro. She
tells Marty that he is jealous because he could never be as strong as
Navarro. I was just sitting here with my “Ooooooh...” face while
they screamed at each other. Wendy tells Marty that he has to move
the fuck out the house. I would have gladly moved out considering who
all live there. The therapist lets Marty know that it will cost a
fuck ton of money for her to keep her mouth shut. I would have pushed
her down a hill. Wendy lets Helen know that she and Marty are taking
a break from one another and Helen does not want that shit since when
they have drama it effects the cartels business.
Marty
is pretending that is he gonna sign a confession to agent Maya. Oh,
and he is now staying in the same hotel as her since he got kicked
out. That woman is like a month away from having a kid and wants
Marty to confess before she does. Goals, folks. We finally get some
good stuff going on with the damn kids. Helen's dumb daughter refuses
to stop seeing Tommy and he refuses to leave her alone. Tommy gets
drunk and gets his gun out to shoot at random shit. He bets Jonah
that he can't shoot a beer bottle. Jonah shoots three. Thanks, Buddy. Then he aims
the gun at Jonah and tells him to let him shoot it off his head.
Jonah looked like he was thinking about it and then the cops show up
and arrest their asses.
After
getting released Helen pulls Wendy aside and tries to chew her out
saying her daughter was never like this and trying to blame Jonah and
Charlotte but Wendy decided to spill all the tea about her nasty ass
daughter wanting to lose her virginity while she was here before she
headed back to school. Helen tries to talk to her daughter later who
is a complete shitbird. I legit can not stand her daughter. She don't
know what Helen does for a living so Helen is standing there trying
to walk this tightrope of being a stern mother when she knows that if
she wanted to she could have her daughters legs broken with a phone
call.
Ruth
and Ben are hanging out at her place and she wants to bone down but
he can't get his dick to listen. He tells her its not her and she is
pretty and she is like “Whatevs.” I was like “Fuck you, Ruth!”
As someone with an alleged penis when it doesn't want to work when
you need it to her attitude makes it way worse. Dicks don't go “Oh,
yeah?! I'll show you!” and get hard. Anyhoot, Wendy finds out that
Ben has been flushing his damn meds down the toilet. She says he has
to take them or get the fuck out. She meets with Ruth at the casino
and explains to her that she loves her brother but he is bipolar and
when he doesn't take his medicine he gets crazy as fuck. Ruth don't
seem phased. She meets up with Ben and bones him in the basement.
Marty
realizes that he is being tailed by a black SUV. He eventually calls
Maya and she is like “That ain't one of our cars” and tells him
that he has to go sleep at home. He shows up and the family gather in
one room while Ben and Ruth are fuggin'. The next day Maya lets them
know the cars are gone. Ben asks Jonah to go drone flying and follow
Ruth to joke with her. Yeah. His crazy is already kicking in. They
watch her pull over to pick up the money from the drop and they see
that three black SUV's are pulling up. Ben calls Ruth and she hangs
up on him. He calls again and he tells her to get the fuck outta
there because something bad is about to go down.
These
dudes get out of the SUV's and kill everyone there and then light the
truck and the money on fire and peel off with Ruth standing there
watching like “Thefuckjusthappened?!” I do not know how this
season is gonna end without at least four or five of this cast of
characters dead. I think Tommy was one of those killed which sucks
for the FBI agent he was working with and Helen's daughter who wanted
to bone him. I guess.
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