Episode
2
This
show is funny as hell. In this episode the vampires are pissed that
they are even supposed to take over Staten Island meaning they should
have taken over North America by now. Colin, the energy vampire, says
he knows how they can attain power and takes them to a city council
meeting and starts sucking energy from the whole room by being dull.
The faces he makes after taking energy wreck me. Laszlo dazzles one
member and she mentions how she saw three raccoon in her trash. He
decides to use a damn flute and leaves a mountain of dead raccoon on
her porch. Nandor dazzles another member who praises the vampires and
says that they need to give them power before they are destroyed. He
gets yanked away while screaming.
Nadja
meets one of the virgins that Guillermo knows from a LARP group and
seduces her. The girl thinks it is a sex thing and she has a
boyfriend and they do things on camera but she is still a virgin.
Nadja feels bad for her and bites her neck and has her drink blood.
This is not gonna end well I just know it.
Episode
3
Laszlo
shows off his stone and bush garden which is made of things that make
no sense or look like genitals. He smells some werewolf pee and sets
a trap to catch one. He does and after the werewolf wakes up he says
that he and his crew will be back and then dives out the window
hurting himself some more. Nandor shows a scroll from 1993 that says
that werewolves and vampires must not battle one another. The
werewolf and his crew return and they start pissing all over
everything. They decide to have a duel. They meet up and this eight
foot wolf is to fight Nandor. Nandor chooses his weapon which is a
squeak toy and tosses it off the roof and the wolf dives for it. I
cracked up way too hard at that.
Meanwhile
a new woman starts at work with Colin. He tries his energy draining
on her and it backfires and he gets weaker. He realizes that she is
an emotional vampire. That shit was way too funny to me! I seriously
love the use of different forms of vampires. The lady, Evie
(emotional vampire), and Colin decide to start working together and
it goes well until he realizes that it is not healthy for them to
continue this way. She sucks a little more energy from him even as
they are breaking up.
Episode
4
Realizing
that they need to move fast and gather more power to take over the
country the vampires decide to hook up with this vampire named Simon
the Devious who runs a nightclub. Nandor insists that they all wear
capes which they get made fun of for doing. Laszlo brings a hat made
of witch skin that is obviously cursed. It crushes his new familiar.
It gets his cape snagged in a cab and drags him. He falls through the
floor. Simon agrees to help but only if Laszlo gives him the hat. As
soon as he gets it he kicks them out saying he only brought them to
get the hat. As soon as they are kicked out the curse kicks in and
the club explodes.
While
the vampires were around Guillermo is first almost eaten by a vampire
and Nandor doesn't seem to really mind. He heads to a bathroom for
familiars and didn't know that they had a union. One familiar is a
cat and the one Guillermo is talking to is the familiar to two young
kids and he has to pretend to be their father. Nandor realizes that
he treated Guillermo terribly and decides to fly him through the city
but ends up dripping his ass. He has broken arms and legs and is laid
up. Laszlo has the cursed hat back and each time he put it on
Guillermo's heart would stop beating. Meanwhile the girl Nadja bit,
Jenna, is turning into a vampire or something like a zombie. He
roommate calls 911 meaning uses Siri to call 911 and Jenna wakes up
on the gurney and runs back inside.
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