"Bad Ass Mofo": Ryan Gosling

“The writing was on the wall when I saw 'Rocky' for the first time. I went and picked a fight right afterwards and got my ass kicked. The movies took me into their dream.” Ryan Gosling

I have a total man crush on Ryan Gosling who is this weeks Bad Ass Mofo. There are a few men on this planet that when I see them its like “I would probably let him put it on my shoulder if I were in jail…meaning my kitchen.” This dude is just fucking amazing in everything he does. I watched The Notebook because of him. The Notebook!!!

Gosling is a year and a half younger than me and was born in London, Ontario, Canada. I watched an interview where he said he was born in Cornwall. He plays a few instruments and never does a bad interview. Recently I watched Lars & the Real Girl and The Notebook which just reinforced that this dude is fucking great. Last year I saw him in Drive and The Ides Of March.

I’m making him sound like too much of a nice guy. Time to dirty this Mofo up. In high school he threw steak knives at classmates. He fucks a lot of hot actresses. Well, some are okay looking like Sandra Bullock. And real hot chicks like Rachel McAdams and currently Eva Mendes. Have you ever seen her?

Now you have. Oh, fap...

There’s a scene in Drive where he fucking stomps a dude’s head in. Like, I don’t mean “Oh, he kicks a guy on the ground…” No. He turns this guys head into fucking hamburger! And to this one guy he says “You shut your mouth. Or I'll kick your teeth down your throat and I'll shut it for you.” And he meant it!

Canadians don't fuck around.

Ryan Gosling is not only this weeks BAM, he is a good human being and one of the best actors in the world right now. And look dreamy doing it. Damn this man! I’m lost in his stupid eyes again. I’m gonna go and do some push ups and think of hot chicks I know to get my manliness back. It’ll be tough but I think I can do it.