Lindsay Lohan is feuding with her parents. After getting in a fight with her mom Dina and saying she was on crack and then getting mad at her dad Michael for releasing the phone call this mess of a woman has nowhere to turn. Someone should call a whambulance.
Khloe Kardashian and Mario “A.C Slater” Lopez will be co-host on The X Factor. Why is this relevant? Because Slater was dreamy.
Chris Brown and Rihanna are back together. Yeah.
While in Miami with Kim Kardashian her current boyfriend Kanye West tried to snatch a photographer’s camera after she asked some dumb ass questions about Reggie Bush who used to date Kim...along with every other Black man but me. Her stupid ass is smiling the whole time as her boyfriend is once again doing shit he got in trouble for before.
Some freak that broke into Miley Cyrus’ home got sentenced to 18 months in jail. That’s the most he can get. He probably just wanted to let her know he disagreed with her new hairstyle.
Amanda Bynes who has been in the news this past year for consistently being a fuck up by crashing cars, driving without a license, smoking pot in her car, hitting a police car, locking herself in dressing rooms, and crashing more cars has plead not guilty to driving on a suspended license. Good luck with that one, missy.
Former doctor Conrad Murray who helped kill Michael Jackson was moved to a larger jail cell after complaining about the size of it. You know what’s smaller? A coffin. Yeah. Way smaller.
Hulk Hogan has a sex tape that I refuse to even gander at. In it he is banging Bubba The Love Sponge’s wife Heather. There is debates as to who released the tape. Either way it has led to me making lots of Hogan sex jokes. Hell, the first few lines from his theme song work. “When it comes crashing down and it hurts inside…”
Rapper (?) Mystikal wants to do porn and Pinky has agreed. What. The. Fuck?!
Octomom’s house was egged recently. Ha!
Halle Berry is still in a custody battle with her former sperm donor Gabriel Aubry. You know who I feel bad for in all of this? What? No, not her kid. My penis. You must not know 'bout me, you must not know 'bout me...
Some dude broke into Frances Bean Cobain’s home. Yes, that Cobain. He was doing laundry while she was out of town and has been charged with burglary. Weirdo.
Kristen Stewart just bought a house five minutes from her ex boyfriend Robert Pattinson. He must got that mad stalker dick. They have been hanging out publicly lately and I think its just so tickets for the next Twilight movie don’t suffer.
Cyclist Lance Armstrong continues to be in the shitter. He had all his Tour De France wins revoked, one testicle, and now a helmet company is dropping him. This is all because they say he was using performance enhancing drugs. They need to change that name. It sounds like a good thing.
Flavor Flav was arrested for threatening his fiancées son with a knife. Nothing about that entire sentence makes sense.
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